End of the World as We Know It

Welcome to the Sanatorum

noreply@blogger.com (NBWK) — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 04:41:00 +0000

This has to be the epitome of taking cover behind the fat boys. Let the ten pins get knocked over one after another, and just stay in the eleventh pin position, and all will come to those who wait. Or some such. First, knock over Perry, then knock over Cain, then Bachman, etc., etc., etc., and of course Gingrich, with Romney remaining the favorite also-ran, or better yet, Plan B. And then, one fine winter's day, you wake up to find:

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;

The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,

And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;

But there is no joy in Right Wing Heaven— mighty Santorum finally sticks out.

When the 2011-2012 Primary Deep Fry and Cherry Coke Jubilee finally closes shop, most likely sometime in 2015, all will wonder what the hell that was all about, anyway. Perhaps nothing more than a case of indigestion, or worse, a new form of Ebola virus masquerading as Real Politik.

How does the Far Wrong think it will con, er, convince Independents and "moderate Republicans" (read: Turncoats) they should be taken seriously, let alone represent a valid alternative to President Obama, when they keep playing Musical Clowns? Santorum now is having his Crowning Moment, just as all the others have, and all in the increasingly futile hope that they can pull off an "Anybody But Romney" hat trick. Who's next - The Other Mormon? Fat chance - Mormons apparently scare the Wrong Wing Evangelical Paper Hat Party worse than That Black Guy does. Who knew? At this point, the only thing they could hope for to take a win in 2012 is if Obama converts.

I do have to say one thing, Santorum is about as Milquetoast as you can get, which perhaps explains why he's gone this far. It is clear that the Far Wrong really seeks one thing above all others: a tabula rasa where they can implant their Radical Wrong Code Of Hamandrye, thus guaranteeing the final solution to the Constitution: replacing it with Scripture as written by Grover the Norquistical, He Who Must Be Obeyed.

After all - why pick a Mormon when you can settle for a Moron?

The Battle of the Wookies, Right After This Word From Our Sponsors

noreply@blogger.com (NBWK) — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 16:36:00 +0000

Hi! Koch Brother's, here. You're probably wondering why we are backing so many of the dark horses in this coming presidential debacle, and you are of course correct in having that wondering. (Thank you, Sarah, for the wonderful editing. Couldn't have doing this without you betcha.) We feel the American People deserve a choice, which they have never really had before. Not even George Bush was a choice. Well, not for you, anyway. And this Obama person, hardly a choice there, basically, just shoved down the throats of the American People by those Commie liberal scum. But we aim to put an end to that, and right quicker-ly.

Having a choice is the American Way, unless it's about abortion (baby killing) or living next to a power plant. Or whether food is safe or not, like it isn't. Or paying taxes (better you than us, because we have a choice. Wouldn't you like to know how? I bet you do!) Or choosing your rulers, leaders, whatever. Some things should be not about having a choices. That's the American Way! And we are all about the American Way, which is about getting wealthy, no matter what. It's right there on the Statue of Liberty!

So, this election is about you having real choices, between that black guy with the foreign name, and all these white guys and one white, dynamic woman who know how to Get Things Done, like get rid of public education for once and all, because that does not have choices for people who need them. And put the Right Kind of People on that Supremer Court. (Nice touch, Sarah!) And to help you the American Peoples make that right-to-life choice, we, the Koch Brothers, along with many of our rightfully wealthy friends, are bringing you these powerful arguing debaters, so that you can relax, and stop worrying about those jobs you aren't having, because that isn't a proper American Dream, is it?

So, it really doesn't matter which one of these wonderful American Candidates you settle for, as long as together, We the American Peoples are foremost at the table of Life, Liberty, and the Pur$uit of Happierness. And we can do that Together by defeating decisively that guy currently squatting in the People's White House. It started out white, and by God and Guns, it's going to stay being Right. Because that is the American Way.

And now, let's get back to the arguers in today's Wookie Primary Debates!

99.5 Just Won't Do

noreply@blogger.com (NBWK) — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 00:14:00 +0000

Remember that old Credence Clearwater song, "99 and a half just won't do"? I was reminded of that today after I got roadblocked by a 99% march here. I didn't mind sitting and waiting for them to pass by. But I did mind what has increasingly seemed like a movement searching for a cause. Sound bites and pepper spray do not a movement make, and in light of the massive arsenals the 1% have at their beck and call, you would hope these 99%ers will begin to work on better tactics in addition to honing their message. I mean, you think those tea swillers are gonna be swayed? Right. Who cares about them. But...

Thing is, they got lots of money with which to buy the politicians of their own choosing, and buying them they are. You believe that occupying the park means squat to the fat cats? Think again. Follow the money, because that's who benefits, and thus that is who calls the shots. I mean, aren't you a little curious about how the police can pepper spray people just sitting around are getting paid by - wait for it - your tax dollars. Ain't that grand? As far as scams go, that one is a doozy. But wait! There's more!

Yeah, there is always more - for them, and less for you. That's the nature of the game, and we all just keep playing along. See, the way its rigged is like this: keep a majority of the people employed, but squeeze them. And to keep them from complaining too much, design the system so that we can keep an obvious number of people homeless, and still quite visible, so that the rest of us can see the consequences if we challenge the system, at least anything beyond choosing one from either Column A or Column B. And let's ratchett up the pressure with random cycles of boom and but, where we can deploy some of the best word-smithing ever. "The employment picture is looking up," followed by, "the employment picture is looking bleak," and "the workforce needs to be mobile/flexible/retrained/etc." You just know what's coming around the corner by now, don't you? Well?

To make things even more interesting, tie up the really driven younger people by maintaining a policy of total, permanent war. Let them kill people over there. Besides, a good portion will either die, or come back too damaged to be a worry. Now, for icing on the cake, lets create as much mind-numbing entertainment as we can, especially on programs and games that hilight violence and rude, bully-style public humiliation "reality" shows. It's called "conditioning" folks, and I ain't talking Gold's Gym. Who's going to bother looking behind the curtains?

Sure, there's more to the picture than these broad outlines, but really? You think the 1% give a fig about whether a few people break free of their sheeple-state? Hey, did you see how much the lottery is up to this week?

Well, I would like to point out to the 99% marchers/occupiers that you are slowly but steadily eroding the goodwill you built early on. Time to realize the party stage of the affair is over. Now, it's time to do the really hard work. Such as organizing, getting behind YOUR candidates, and then, for the sake of the dead gods, get off yer asses and vote. It's really the only tool you can use against the rampaging kleptocracy, and in your heart-of-hearts, you KNOW that's the truth.

Peace out.

Something New

noreply@blogger.com (NBWK) — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 23:05:00 +0000

Now you, the common citizen, can weigh in on how to rate the 1%! Go over to http://thepeoplesratingagency.blogspot.com/ and offer your input. Why should all the power to give economy-shattering ratings rest in the hands of those who are the only one's to profit from it? Now, WE can rate the ratings agencies, government agencies, corporate entities, and more. Go take a look!!

Occupy This, Wall Street! Its Downgrade Time!

noreply@blogger.com (NBWK) — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 17:49:00 +0000

As of today, we at Es and PeeQueAreEyeTee must regrettably announce a downgrade from AAA status to a CCC status to the risk rating for Wall Street, Inc., and all its subsidiaries. Current market fluctuations, the rabid spasmodic reactions to every hiccup, and the failure to adequately recognize which side of the bread the butter is applied to show this rating agency that the management of Wall Street, Inc., just "doesn't get it," especially in their near-willful failure to pay attention to where the money actually comes from.

In an honest effort to aid Wall Street, Inc. with getting back to their higher rating status, we offer the following suggestions, and trust they will be heard in the generous manner in which we extend them, especially in light of the coming Holidays:

1. You need to remember who your real stockholders are - the consumers of America. Without their buy-in, your subsidiaries will simply crumble. It is the consumer who props up their, and therefor, your, profits. Remain oblivious to this at your won peril.

2. You really need to get a grip. Every time your firm and your subsidiaries see a leaf fall, you panic, and that in turn sends shares crashing to the floor as though to race said leaf to its doom. Conversely, every time a frog jumps, you sense a moment of glory, and near wet your pants with glee. Really, folks, settle down. Give more than ten seconds of thought before you hit that remote, and maybe, just maybe, you'll be able to finally commit to some long-range planning. That, in turn, would do much to increase consumer confidence, which in turn would, well, can't you guys just figure this out for yourselves? No? Right. OK.

3. You keep yelping about "instability in the markets," as though you were a mere victim. Uh, that's your shadow you keep jumping at, you do know that, don't you. The "instability" is caused by you, and everyone seems to know that but you. Which begs the question: you guys are in charge of the world economy for exactly what reason, again?

So, we really have no choice but to issue this downgrade. And be warned - the longer these "market conditions" persist, that is, the longer your firm continues to hold to your willful blindness, the more downgrades we will be forced to issue. This current reduction from AAA to CCC is merely indicative of the extreme loss of trust and believability you have foisted on your own real shareholdes. And until and unless you can remember who those shareholders really are, and what they truly demand, well, we hold little hope for an improvement of this rating in the near term. In the long term? I'd think those bonus checks are going to start shrinking at a very rapid click.

The courtesy of a reply is requested, but given your track record, we ain't holding our breath, buckos.

The 1 Percent is On The March!

noreply@blogger.com (NBWK) — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 22:38:00 +0000

So S&P is now threatening the EU with a downgrade of their credit rating, like that's really gonna make anything better. Well, except for the 1%, that is - of COURSE it's gonna be better for them - who do you think S&P work for, anyway? But somehow, I have a feeling we are getting really close to a breaking point, and here I speak not of the global environment, nor the state of Herman Cain's harem problems, but of how much the 1% can push their greed down all our throats before we just go and upchuck all over their Gucci-covered asses.

If they try to force "austerity" down the throats of many countries in the EU without making demands on the wealth-hoarding class, I strongly suspect that the lessons everyone is learning from the so-called "Arab Spring," (notice anything unusual coming from Russia the past few days?) will start showing up in more European and American cities over the weeks leading up to the holiest day in Consumerdom - Bleak Monday. Use my credit card, or, pay the damn thing off, and quit paying those bastards for all that worthless crap? Hmmm. Take the family on a ski trip, or, get in line at the soup kitchen, again? No brainer, baby.

The Pea Tardy and their lap doggies in Congress want everyone to think this is all the fault of Big Gummint, and that black guy, but that story is getting old and worn, and doesn't hold the same grip on everyone's testicles it did in 2008. The fact is, we are being driven into fiscal and moral bankruptcy by the very people who pull the strings of both those groups - people like the Koch Brothers, the big banks, the brokerages, the weapons, oil, pharma, and chemical companies, who are engaged in a truly desperate and despicable attempt to dismantle the Constitution and erect in its place the oligarchy they all share wet dreams about.

And I don't know about you, but if I'm gonna get screwed, I'd better get to enjoy it, too. These cockroaches? They have no intention of sharing any kind of joy. So unless you really like getting screwed, you might want to think about getting out of bed, right about.....now.

Trumped-up Charges, Same-Old, Same-Old

noreply@blogger.com (NBWK) — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 23:20:00 +0000

The Trumpster is back!! Oh, come on - did you really believe we were finally rid of this blowhard? Schmoes like the Donald are like dog doo stuck to the bottom of your waffle-soled shoes - damn hard to clean off. And now - oh, it's simply priceless!! - Gingrich is bending over to kiss that pompous ass and defend the Donald from the nastiness of Ron Paul. Man! You just cannot PAY for entertainment like this!!

Romney-mon is his typical shy self, not letting on if he'll be another one to bend over for the CombOver Doll, but we can pretty well rest assured he's just trying to figure out how to bend over and spread them without having to answer any "difficult" questions, like, how many times have you actually flipflopped again, Governor? The Boy really HATES having to be honest with the Amurican Peeps. Might expose his scratchy underwear.

And you just HAVE to love the also rans, who still haven't been able to find their way out of the bag they stuffed themselves into. Michelle-Ma-Belle, and RickyBobby maybe oughta should do their own roadtrip, 'cept they look so much like roadkill at this point they'd get pulled over and arrested for "driving while dead." And RonnyPauley, so cute. Ready to dismantle the entire US Government, if elected. Has anyone let him know yet how little he would have to do on weekdays if he eliminated all those Departments? I mean, he'd essentially be cutting off his nose to spite his face - oh. Oh, right - he does that all the time, doesn't he? hasn't anyone got the guts to tell him that botox is a fine alternative?

And with SugarCain gone, due to way too many indiscretions to find laudable excuses for, you have to be wondering when another mistress will emerge naming Newt the Toot as her Lover-Man of the past decade, or which Choir boy has some memorable moments to share from that Utah summer camp. I can't wait.

As for the other, er, runners in this, uh, race? Who dat?

With Cain Gone, Is Anyone Willing to Be Able?

noreply@blogger.com (NBWK) — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 23:53:00 +0000

I did not have sex with that woman. Seems to be an echo in here, ya dig? But, you didn't ask about that other woman. No, not that one, the other one, Hell, I ain't gonna tell you which woman, that's your job. The job of the liars on the liberal media cyborg Commie-lovin' Democrat side of the aisle at the supermarket. How dare you question me, I am a business man!!

Well, silly us, expecting to know the truth, and worse yet, expecting ethical and moral integrity. How bloody stupid have we Amuricans become? Don't listen to that man on the news, listen to the mumblings coming from behind that curtain, the one marked Tea Party Spoken Here.

Ya know, I highly doubt all the cats are out of the bag yet. The way that Romney keeps trying to control the flow of info, the few and bearly substantive interviews, the constant refusal to open himself up for deep and cogent questioning, makes me think there's something he's terrified of coming to light. The rest are clearly wack-a-doodles, but Romney seems to be trying to slide in under the radar. He must be glad that Cain is the one whose sacrifice displeased the Lord, this time.

Has anybody out there even CONSIDERED sleeping with him? Out of his scratchy underwear, that is? Of course, who would really want to admit to such depravity?

Long Time Gone, Piss-Poor Excuses

noreply@blogger.com (NBWK) — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 21:19:00 +0000

Thought you'd lost me, eh? No such chance. I was basically lying in wait for something a bit different than all the crap that's come before. Yes, I know, futile gesture. But the wait did me good, in addition to an intrusion by other physical structural failures, (hey, aging sucks, OK? Get on with it.) And besides, here we are back in the silly season, declared "party hacks" beating the tar out of each other. Just like the old days, you know - the Roman Coliseum? Only thing missing is the lions, but it would be a shame to give those wondrous beasties food poisoning now, wouldn't it?

But you have to love it, all the gaffes, affairs, insane, so-called "ideas" flouted as reasoned policy objectives. Not to mention the major increase in business to hair-care product companies. And if you have been paying any attention to the latest flavor of the week, well, looks like vanilla is gonna win, unless Grover Norquist rears his ugly butt to object. Probably make everybody sign a pledge to only vote with their feet, on a Wednesday, or some such. These bozitos will sign anything to keep from having Grover approach them with that enema nozzle again.

What I really love about the putative candidates are how they so cynically employ the sordid "Americans want...; Americans don't want...." crap. Well, if you really pay attention to all the polls, not just the one's you paid someone to wipe your arse with, you would be hard pressed to make a case to either effect. Americans want what they want, and I can guaran-damn-tee you it isn't the bullstuff these jokers want Americans to believe it is. The fact is, a very sizable majority of Americans want the wealthy to pay their fair share in taxes, but the Retreads are firmly wedged into the butt-cheeks of those so-called wealthy few so far that they can't reach the remote, and thus continue to live in a parallel fantasy world, clinging to hopes that one of them will be the beauty queen to drag America even further down the rat hole.

I can see an entirely new version of "The Sing Off". Acapella debates, with judges from each social class, but with weighted votes, where The Koch Brothers get the 99%, and everyone else has to split the remaining 1%, and they are required to so so from inside a tent behind the auditorium.

Oughta make for some great television.

He Lives! He Lives! [yawn]

noreply@blogger.com (NBWK) — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 20:42:00 +0000

Yes, I'm back. Ah, the frailties of the human condition. Took a bit longer to mend than the docs said it would. But then, I was born a contrarian, after all. And what happens while I'm having all my organs replaced with high-density plastics? All hell breaks loose, that's what happens!

Oil (which, by the way, makes up the bulk of my current organ supply, so I'm a bit concerned about this, as you might imagine) is spewing, yep, spewing into the ocean at a rate that is almost guaranteed to bring back the dinosaurs (whose blood it is, after all.) And do Amuricans bat an eye? Do they take any noticeable steps to, dare I say it, reduce their consumption of said oil? No, they do not. Why not? You remember that joke about why the dog licks it's own crotch? 'Bout sums it up, dontcha think?

I mean, its not like its the end of the world (unless you are an ocean critter, of course,)so lets go full tilt, baby! Gas up that guzzler twice today, and keep the economy going. Funny thing about that, the economy being dependent on rampant consumerism and all? You really only have two choices, if you crunch it all down: you either go full speed till its all gone, in which case you get your general total-system collapse as a kind of instant, non-stop party, with all the associated downsides, or (and this is merely for argument's sake, really - we would never actually make this choice,)we show some foresight, and start working on alternative systems full-tilt, so the collapse is a bit slower, and far more manageable, and maybe even (more pie-in-the-sky stuff here, folks) reasonably recoverable, with a far lower loss of life, habitat, and self-esteem.

Like I said, highly unlikely. So, full-system collapse, end-of-the-world situation. As long as that dino-blood keeps coming until the last day. Right?

I'm really gonna miss them mudbugs, ya know?

Well, it's Boxing Day in America - Did You Buy Your Politician a Gift Today?

noreply@blogger.com (NBWK) — Tue, 18 May 2010 18:10:00 +0000

Ah, I love the smell of off-season primaries in the morning! This year, we get a special treat - rabble-rousing stuff of the earth tea baggers funded by Massey Coal! Yep, this "grass root" movement is actually an open-pit movement funded by dirty coal. Turns out the fat cat what owns Massey Coal doesn't like too many (read: any) guvmint regulations, cuz, well, it get's his profit hungry panties in a bunch. So, cuz he can't get his way with the current (read: non-Bush) guvmint, well, he's gonna buy a guvmint that suits his personal needs. And, he's gonna fool a bunch of easy to fool fools into foolishly believing THEY are the one's in charge! Wow, talk about an excellent conspiracy of dunces.

Now, I'd like to re-shape the guvmint to MY own liking as much as the next billionaire, (Oh, you didn't know?) but I just don't think that was part of the "original Intent" of the foundling fathers for their newly founded fatherland. (ahem.) But why should that matter? This is Amuricah - land of the foreclosure, home of the knave, where the Almighty Profit has gone fourth and ten with seconds to go, and has plans to keep all of us, (no, not you tea baggers, uh-uh) in debt up to our third eyes for all eternity. And lo! he spaketh unto them and led them all into the wilderness of the suburbs, and made them glad to be consumers of consumption, he sayeth unto the Lard! You see how easy it is to cite scripture when your rapture is about to rupture?

Look, we KNOW you chumps just cannot be honest about your real feelings, cuz that would mean you'd have to actually own up to being the frightened white sheep that you truly are. I mean, when you yahoos say something that is clearly racist, ya'll get all fired up stoopid complaining how you are being "maligned" (look it up) just like, oh, how does Glenny-Boy put it? The Nazis are coming, the Nazis are coming!! And look! They just happen to be a mixed set, not one uniformly god-given color like us! And to have to face the trooth of yourself, well, that sends so many mixed signals to the little ones, who so look up to ya'll for guidance of their missiles. Who knows - they might even end up being aimed (horrors!) right back at you.

Ooh, messy.

Well, we'll certainly know better tomorrow whether the 'baggers are going to succeed in pulling down the entire Republican Party and drive it well over the wrong wing cliff. I certainly am cheering for ya'll. 'Cuz there is one thing I am dead certain of - Amurica tends to shy away from the extremes, regardless what side of the Great Divide they may fall. Because fall they will.

Which, as Martha likes to say, is a good thing! Maybe then, we can actually get something done in this country.

Toodles, ya'll!

Creationism? You're Kidding, Right? No? Wow....

noreply@blogger.com (NBWK) — Mon, 10 May 2010 19:30:00 +0000

People who believe in such things tell us that God created US!! – all of us. Starting with the mythic Adam, and right up to everyone on the planet today. And most such people – those who believe in such things – also seem to believe this happened somewhat recently, as in, Adam and Eve palled around with the dinosaurs. But that’s not the issue; the issue is the whole creation thing.

Lets take it at face value for a moment, for the sake of argument, of which there has been plenty on this topic, already. And let’s not get too very Jesuit about this, either, because, well, those guys are, you know, “well educated” and stuff, and we don’t want too many of them poking their noses into our little exercise here, at least not just yet. Maybe later.

So, Adam, Eve, Cain, Abel. Small family unit, some contentious issues, leading to an early foreclosure and eviction, followed some time later by fratricide. First family, and already, dysfunction. Whatever. But they are also, following the existing storyline, the first “peoples”, as in the village, nation, planet – it’s just them, and the animals.

I think I’ve got that right.

First question – where does the second family come from? There is some vague story about the two tribes – Canaanites, and I suppose Abelites? But if Cain slays Abel, uh, how do the Abelites come into the picture? And even more interesting questions arise about Cain – who did he marry, in his years of self-torture and mark on the forehead (or was it foreskin? I’m confused,) if there was no second family? Or (and this goes against most civilized mores, I must warn you,) did Adam and Eve have more kids than has been told, and, if so, was there inter-marriage? You know, incest (shudder?) So you see, this seems a bit sticky to me. The myth doesn’t say whether God did or did not continue with the whole “build-a-better-man-and-woman thing. But it does seem to imply we all, yep, you, too, bucko, are descended from the apple-eaters.

So you see why I pose the question, right? You get your butts ejected from the time-share naturist leisure world, and then its all “wanna do it again” every darn night, for who knows how long. I mean, at some point, Eve’s gotta want to take a rest, wouldn’t you think? And the myth also seems to want us to believe they lived an awfully long time, what six-hundred years, give or take? I have to think those last fifty were a real pain. “Aw, for God’s sake, Adam, go tend the flock. I’ve got a freakin’ headache, back ache, toothache, at least in the two I’ve got left. And you, you putz. You don’t exactly spring into action the way you used to. And I’m the one’s always feeding the damn great, great, and not-so-great grandkids. So shut up and go to sleep, already.”

And of course, the kids are, well, engaging in inappropriate behavior, but we had to go forth and multiply over and over and over, until now, we desperately need to learn a little subtraction. It’s just basic math.

So this means, God either kept up the production line, or somebody needs to get child protective services on the line, like, yesterday!. OK, yeah, it’s a little late for that, I guess. But there’s another question – if God kept up the production line, didn’t any of them actually hold to the terms of the contract, vis-à-vis that “fruit of the tree” thing? If they did, why would they leave the time share? And if they didn’t, well, there goes that “no imperfections” thing, which is apparently one of the bigger selling points about the Big Guy, after all. Which may start to erode the whole tithing thing, over time. I’m just sayin’!

I mean, this myth has some serious holes in it. If we can’t make it past this basic issue, the story falls apart. Continuity here, people!

But I suppose there’s another possibility – there was more than one Big Guy. That is what most people believed, took as an article of faith, held up as certainty, taught the kiddies in catechism, etc., that there were gods in everything. So they’re all molding mud and dissecting ribs, and, sorry to say, setting behavioral parameters that these newly minted baby makers cannot stick to! This is a far-more believable story line, because, well, the math works

This, of course, flies in the face on the monotheistic crowd, hell, pretty well gets their holy panties in a bunch. They always tell you, “take it on faith.” What, like Nixon? Clinton? Bush, Jr.? Eh, I don’t think so. Didn’t “religious” people once tell their children they’d been brought home by a stork? Or found under a cabbage patch? See, once you get the first part of the story wrong, it’s pretty sticky to admit you may have got it completely wrong. And that just leads to more, er, confabulation (I’m trying to avoid the “L” word, here, just to be polite.) And eventually, that celibacy thing, and the kids, and, bbrrr, you end up in litigation, and charges, and all that unwanted scrutiny, and well, the myth starts to sag a bit.

Plus, you are pretty much stuck with trying to explain that whole “dinosaur” issue. You just know you’re going to get laughed right out of the room.

One Last Smack in the Kisser Before I Go

noreply@blogger.com (NBWK) — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 15:32:00 +0000

Well, it's come down to this - I am having my throat cut tomorrow. No, it's nothing YOU said, because, well, you've been rather silent - on pretty much everything. No, it's because I am actually getting my throat cut. Really. I go under the knife, ostensibly to remove the Curse of The Moose Queen from my neck (she - She-Rah, is a pain in the neck, you see.) I will be in recovery with my half-naked shaman healer gal for several weeks or so, depending on how many antlers they have to remove. So feel free to go through my extensive snark-ives if you have just recently joined the fray. But worry not - Notumbus shall return! Until then, here's a parting shot:

On pretty much any day these days, newspapers, web news, TV, iWipes, whatever, are going for the jugular. "Slap 'em upside the head," appears to be the new approach to journalism. Hell, don't just slap 'em, kick 'em while their down, pound 'em to the ground, and do it with a s**t eating grin all the while. Oh, yes, it's pretty much world-wide at this point, but we Amuricans, we do it up right, and with far more vitriol than anyone else. And that's just one of the things that makes Amurica the Greatest Show on Earth. We don't just f**k around, no siree, we go straight for the 'nads, while simultaneously hiding behind the First Amendment. Hell, we've even found the wiggle room in that exception to the 1st, "don't shout fire in a crowded theater." We do it with innuendo and slime-journalism, setting the other guy up, ala "So, you don't really beat your wife ten times a week, do you? It must really be more like, oh, five, right?" Yeah, that's journalism, alright.

I like how suddenly everyone is all, "oh goodness, we have to do something about the bullying in the schools." Like they only just figured out this crap has been going down. Forget about the prior thousand or so years of the same violence taking place right under their noses. But here is the real Jake on this malarkey - at the same time folks are in a frou-frah about bully's in the schools, most are awfully defensive about their own bullying. Whether its the Tea Bagger's Union screaming about running politicians out of town on a splintered rail, or the Not-so-Progressives screaming about pushing She-Rah off a cliff, it seems bullying is the soup du-jour. But its the hypocrisy of all this that floors me. You really want to stop bullying in the schools? Really? The start by trending your own behavior toward civility, by debating each other with respect. Because truthfully? If I was a kid today (I was one yesterday, but today I got up on the wrong side of the era) I would be taking a page from the screaming, asinine adults all around me, and making school like Lord of the Flies. 'Cuz see, that's how we kiddies learn - from you big-mouthed louts. So stop yer whining, buck-o.

Now, some of you one or two readers of this scurrilous rag may think I am two-faced on this, but I have never said, nor will I ever say, that anyone is better than me. I would never say that. However, as someone who suffered at the hands of bully's in school, I am simply smackin' back at the ones I can see out there in the whatever-o-sphere, sort of a proxy revenge, if you will. So, if you don't like my snarky opinion, you are entirely free to spew your own. Me? I go by the simple philosophy - don't try to slap a steak on my plate, and I won't knock the pork-chop offn yourn.

In the meantime, try to be nice to folks, even if you disagree with their perspective. One day, you might need their help. And if all you do is spit on them, do you really think they'll bend down to lend you a hand when misfortune craps all over you? Yeah, didn't think so. I mean, if you are going down for the last time, you gonna ask the hand that reaches out to save you if they are a stinkin' Liberal? Hey, that's YOUR problem, ain't it?

Toodles. See ya soon.

Gee, Sounds Like The Weather Underground has Gone Reactionary Rabid Wrong. Oops, Sorry. That's Tea Party to You, Socialist!

noreply@blogger.com (NBWK) — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 18:12:00 +0000

OK, now we are getting somewhere! Every Governor in the nation has received orders from a "sovereign citizen" whack-job group telling them - TELLING THEM - to step down within three days of they will be "removed." Yeah, FBI is already all over these guys, but really, people over there on the Far Far Wrong - do you really think your group-think is not "socialist."? I mean, where's the "rampant individualism" already? See, this is where the rhetoric meets the road. You run around like a bunch of screaming chickens, screaming about the sky falling if poor people get health care coverage (wow, gotta think about that one,) and then get all surprised when the REAL whack-a-doodles wake up the whole farm yard. Uh, what part of "shouting fire in a crowded theater " don't you understand?

Of course, none of this is that surprising. The Wrong Wing is famous for calling the kettle black. From the murder of doctors to the bombing of innocent people (McVeigh? Olympic Village? Shall I go on?), at each and every juncture of this increasingly obscene excuse for a political movement, the GOP has steadfastly (wow, they sure are steadfast, eh?) refused to condemn or disassociate themselves from the Far Wrong Fringe. Good on them!

You see, they seem to believe that these armed fruitcakes are their base! Well, in at least one sense, they are right - these fruit cocktails are truly and really base. Not to mention, bass-ackwards. Because believing these forms of increasingly violent rhetoric and actions will win them a majority in the next election is, well, how can I say this kindly? Hmm. Hmm. Naw, no way to do that, so... We must conclude they are totally drinking their own kool-aid. Let's try for a little perspective, shall we?

First, there is a belief within the ranks of Republicants their party was single-handedly responsible for the ending of slavery, ending of segregation, civil rights laws, and a myriad of other social(ism) laws and actions to spread harmony and good cheer. Er, not so. Were they involved? Yes, to varying degrees. But they did NOT act along strict partisan lines in any of these issues. Were the Demoncrats solely responsible for the fact of slavery? In the South, that would be a big YES. In the North/ Uh, most abolitionists were NOT Republicants, and many were Demoncrats.

By the same token, in the present day, are Demoncrats the only party to ever use recess appointments and reconciliation to get the work of Congress done? Hell, no. Republicants used recess appointments quite frequently, and during the Bushy years, used reconciliation many, many times, especially to enact tax cuts for the rich. (By the way, you want an excellent argument for repealing those tax cuts for the rich? It will keep them from spending so much on mortgage default swaps, those pesky inventions that have killed our economy. They would have to actually pay their fair share for once, instead of screwing the country at both ends.) So please, bozitos, if you are going to keep screaming, please, at minimum, get your facts straight. To wit:

No death panels.

No relocation camps.

No one wants your guns. (But please use them on yourself first, if you love them so much.)

and...

No black helicopters are coming for you. Really. Because you, ya little snot, just ain't that important. Besides, most of them are currently in Iraq and Afghanistan. Where, if you were any kind of true Patriot, is exactly where you would be right now. Instead of playing war games in your camy-jammies. And if the sky IS falling, why, I'd more likely believe it was gonna fall on the wacky Wrong. Why? Because the ancient law of karma - what goes around, comes around. Or, as the Christian Wrong likes to say it, "doing unto others what you would have them do unto you." Ooh, that's gotta sting!

In the meantime, dear whack-a-doodles, please tone it down. The rest of the critters in the barnyard could do with a little more sleep, before we get up to do our more productive work than the work you do - screaming about the sky falling. And put away those guns - don't want Farmer Brown to add you to the Thanksgiving shopping list now, do you?

Toodles!

Abject Failure, or, How The "Christian" Wrong Got So Wrong

noreply@blogger.com (NBWK) — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 16:14:00 +0000

Now, just to set the record straight, I consider myself a Recovering Christian - it takes a lifetime, but somebody has to make the first step, eh? That said, I do recall with vivid detail (shudder - those nuns still make me cringe,) the dogma of the religulous (hats off to Bill Maher.) And sitting right at the top-o-the-heap of said dogma is this little gem, "judge not, lest ye be judged." And there's lots more where that came from, which we may get to eventually, but not today. Today, we stick with just this one.

People who call themselves "Christian," besides Hans, are called to "witness" the "bible" (whichever one they want, apparently,) which means, literally, to both "see and understand, remember and speak," about what their book says. So if the admonishment is to "judge not...", then what we are seeing in today's "Christian Wrong" is an abject failure to "see and understand, remember and speak." Well, not the "speak" part - they have that one down to a "T." To judge (sorry, like I said, I'm "recovering" so I don't adhere to a particular book-based belief system,) is to tell others what they are doing wrong, and then issue threats of eternal retribution if they don't straighten out and fly right. The "abject failure part of this? The rest of the phrase? "...lest ye be judged." And sort of near this phrase, I seem to recall on the same page, in fact, it says something to the effect that only thy lord god shall judge, or words to that effect.

So when I see and hear the likes of Glenhardly Bleck and Rash Limpburger, She-Rah Pail-In, and Karly Rovenator saying very un-christian stuff about those they disagree with, and then try to justify it with statements about this being a "Christian Nation" and all that boolschtuff, well, that's when I know they must be reading from the wrong book, or, they just patently don't "see and understand...," whatever it was they claim to be reading. So, I can only assume they aren't really the "Christians" they claim to be, they are instead nothing more than snake-oil opportunists. Which is, in the mind of this "recovering Christian," the lowest sort of despicable slime mold. Especially since they seem to be rubbing their hands in glee about the now over-the-top resurgent Wrong Wing "Christian" militia movement (hey, they have over-the-counter remedy's for that, ya know,) as they sharpen their claws and talk open insurrection.

Which kinda makes them the advance guard for the Hutaree, seems to me. See, the real problem for all those "end times" whack jobs is this: when it doesn't go according to schedule, they don't have any fall-back positions. They paint themselves into a corner from which they cannot, without suffering extreme shame, extricate themselves and their insane ideologies. Which, oddly enough, is the same position into which the Republicant Party has painted itself. By "uniting" against the rest of the country, they have in effect taken an insurrectionist position, and will now have to lay in the bed they have made. Unfortunately for the rest of America, they can still do a lot of damage. Because you see, us white guys? We gots guns, we gots anger, we gots, er, the New Minority status, and er, well, uh, we ain't gonna take it anymore!! So there!! And we are gonna make everyone else suffer because of it, you can be damned sure of that!

Hmm. Seems like somebody's got their panties in a bunch, what say? I don't think it's mere coincidence these folks are always talkin' 'bout "Judgment Day." It's just that they don't seem to "...remember and speak" about who will actually be doing said "judging."

Those old Greeks had a word for this.

Hubris.

Toodles!

But Seriously, Folks! Goldwater was Just As Wrong as You Are!

noreply@blogger.com (NBWK) — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 16:13:00 +0000

Today something tells me to try being serious for once. So I thought, "Self, what a unique idea, let's try it on and see how it feels." So, here goes:

The primary problem with extremism, of whatever stripe, is its failure to ever achieve it's own stated goals, while simultaneously screwing things up for everyone else. Sort of a perfect s**t storm, if you will. In fact, even a cursory review of history will reveal not one single instance where extremism succeeded in a) achieving the exact ideal world envisioned by said extremists; b) doing as little harm as possible to those in disagreement; and c) still being around today. While the Far Wrong likes to parade charges of Socialism and Communism (come on! people, even when those things purported to exist, they didn't really exist - those, too, were extremist wet dreams that failed to ever meet their initial expectations, let alone have any coherence with their self-stated theories,) they fail to see how they are not much more than the mirror images of their own shibboleths. Whenever ANYONE espouses ANY kind of radical or reactionary makeover of "the system," it ultimately fails. Don't believe me - do the research yourself.

Show me ONE radical or reactionary system that has ever really "worked." By this I mean, have the people, as a whole, NOT merely those on top, EVER really prospered under draconian fantasies? China has been in its present form (psuedo-CommiCapitalism) for less than 20 years, and that change was itself a repudiation of the prior 40 years under so-called Marxism. I say so-called because, if any of the wing nuts on the Far Wrong ever actually bothered to READ his books, they would realize actual Marxism has never actually been tried. Instead, we've had one failed mostrosity after another parading under the "Marxism" banner while never coming close to it.

The same holds true for Conservatism, or shall we say, Reactionary ideologies. Name ONE far Right government that hasn't either (or both) brutally repressed/murdered it's own populations, or resulted in hyper-inflation and economic chaos. And name even ONE of those regimes that has stood the test of time. Yeah, I thought so.

The so-called Tea Party, which is just the latest name for the Patriot Militia Movement, and the Christian Right, and the Birthers and Birchers and Timothy McVeigh Book Club and Gun Society, will eventually run into it's own contradictions. In-fighting is already being seen. And what the adherents of this not-so-new ideology refer to as their "better ideas" are in fact the same failed ideas the world has seen in many other permutations before. And, need I add, with the same sad, and often misery-inducing results.

Please note - I am not by this critique suggesting, not in the slightest, that liberal or "progressive" ideologies are any different, especially where they purport to be the "right" answer to all that ails us. Not by a long shot, dear readers. In fact, what I am arguing is simply this: we have reached a critical juncture in human evolution, where what we thought were solutions in the past are finally proving their worthlessness, and reveal the true depth of the dilemma in all its gory details.

We cannot keep recycling the same ideological tropes in hopes one of them will succeed in pulling our collective fat out of the fryer. The Far Wrong and the Radical Whack-Pack both fear the notion of "globalism," and for not so different reasons. They use different rhetoric, but in the end, they are both nativists at heart. But nativism has never truly been a bulwark against the outside world, my readers - its all around us, that Big Bad World out there, and we damn well better learn to live in it, with something at least approaching harmony, or as the saying goes, we be gone, and we be stayin' gone.

There are no boundaries for air, for water. There is no way we are going back to the days (which, lets admit it, never really happened after all - Ozzie and Harriet was a fiction, ya'll,) when we were over here, they were over there, and we/they could ignore the other, unless they/we had something we/they wanted to take, when of course we/they would go over and whupp they/we until we/they got what we wanted, and then we/they went home, and, er, well...actually...WE hardly EVER went home, except when we got our butts handed to us. So, gee, I guess we need to rethink that isolationist/nativist thingy, wouldn't ya think?

So, dear reader, I leave you with two questions: Do you think it might be time to seek some new brand of pragmatism toward dealing with our political, social, environmental, etc., problems? And, if so, how might we start that conversation? Let's have some discussions, whether here, or your place, I don't really care. I just want to get started, because truthfully? I don't really think we have that much time to start fixing things. And some of those things are well and truly busted.

I think even the smallest amount of reflection will show that, no matter what you call it, extremism is NEVER in defense of Liberty - its only in the justification for oppression. Barry Goldwater notwithstanding.

Next time, back to my usual snarkism.

Toodles!

Idiocracy, 2.0 - or - How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Bums

noreply@blogger.com (NBWK) — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 18:24:00 +0000

If there is one thing that really gets my goat, it's that there isn't just one thing that really gets my goat. My duck? That's another topic. But my goat? Well, the real question is usually, where to start?

Scott Brown is very afraid that Rachel Maddow wants his seat. But that is patently absurd - Rachel has a much better seat that Brown, and, despite her well-stated sexual preferences, still looks better in spandex. Deal with it, Brownie! As we continue to see, the Far Wrong isn't just the single largest purveyor of ad hominem filth, they are also the party of "oh, god, they didn't just really say THAT, did they?"

And their "supporters", who should rightly be called their "jock straps," seem to feel that living in their violence and black-helicopter fantasy land is actually going to solve the myriad problems facing the country, nay, the world today. Tsk. It seems that the movie, Idiocracy, is proving to be farther from the truth than we first suspected - the movie itself offered hope for the idiots, whereas this present collection of buffoons is so far and away beyond the depictions in the movie it seems a more cynical sequel than even Hollywood could dream up.

As for whether the Far Wrong and it's tiny-brained offshoot, the Tea bagger's Union, represent any kind of majority? Well, their recent foray into the Nevada desert drew a whopping 7000 fanatics to relive their biblical re-enactment ceremony, whereas Burning Man had that many just for the food service. And I sincerely doubt their "loaves and fishies" franchise was even remotely capable of feeding the entire frenzied mini-crowd. But hey, we all gotta have time out for mental hygeine. But "majority?" Uh, hmm, er,.....nope. Unless we're talking a "majority" of wing nuts, in which case I'll admit, they have the franchise.

But let's just get one thing straight, besides Barney Frank (badda-boom)! I sincerely doubt, and you Far Wrong-oids are quite invited to disprove this, that one of the Mad Haters at the tea party are without insurance, have any preexisting condition (besides that lump on your shoulders), or have yet to have your company pull up stakes and head to China. But for those one or two that have, uh, simple question: what's your problem? You LIKE being behind the eight-ball? Or is this all just about what Jimmy Carter called it as - white-people fear of the dark? 'Cuz truthfully?

I have yet to see many "people of color" in your ranks. I wonder why that is?

Yowzuh!!

Mob Mentality Is The Order of the Day - Big Surprise!

noreply@blogger.com (NBWK) — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 22:39:00 +0000

So it has come to this - verbal and physical threats against politicians who voted the way YOU didn't want them to. Wow. You dipwads on the Far Wrong sure are clear on the concept of representative democracy, ain'tcha? About that pesky Constitution - Second Amendment = fine and dandy,all the rest of that Godless Communist BS? Throw it and the kooks who wrote it right into the crapper! hell, yes! Er, what's that? Same guys? Really!!?? Ah, hell, let's hang 'em all, anyway - they don't agree with Rash Limpbarger and Glenoid Beck-Beck, so they don't agree with us!! We aim to throw tea parties till hell freezes over, if that's what it takes to keep our country from offering health care to those who are too lazy to pay all their money to the corporations what are real citizens of this here God-fearin' Capitalistic Plutocracy to Which We Belong!

A little over the top? Nah. If these bozitos can shout "baby killer" on the floor of the Senate, I can shout "nincompoop" on the floor of the Titanic, which is, after all, the perfect metaphor for these last days of the Empire.

Suck on THAT, She-Rah!!

Toodles!

noreply@blogger.com (NBWK) — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 19:14:00 +0000

Is it just me, or does Jihad Jane look like Aileen Wuornos, as portrayed by Charlize Theron? See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aileen_Wuornos for a better look-see. Just askin'.

40,000 year old tools left at construction site . So what's new? My surgeon left some old pliers in my spleen, and did HE get front page mention? Nooo.

Invisibility Cloak Edges Closer to Reality

So THAT'S how Tiger does it!

Greenspan Concedes That the Fed Failed to Gauge the Bubble

"Honest, I never realized my Bazooka Joe could even GET that big. I wasn't even chokin' or nothin'! My bad - sorry!!

On more serious fronts, has anybody else been noticing how men's underwear is getting thinner all the time? I mean, what do they expect us to do to hide the padding?

And what's up with this obesity campaign? I thought the whole point of being a good US citizen was being a better-than-average consumer. What a better way to both consume AND store vast quantities, without ever leaving the mall?

Don't you just love all these global climate change deniers? They are now pointing out that, due to all the snow the country got this year, that's complete proof that Al Gore is a block-head. So what are they going to say this summer, when the heat releases ten trillion mosquitoes? "Oh, Old Al musta planted 'em?" Hey, where was he keeping them, I wonder? Musta been up Old Rusty Limpburger's nose. Yep, makes sense to me!

Like Scoop used ta say - if ya don't like the noose, go out and hang one of your own!

Toodles!

More Crazy-Assed Stuff for the Discerning

noreply@blogger.com (NBWK) — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 23:04:00 +0000

Just saw one of those instant plumber trucks, you know, the rooter dudes. This one was called (and I kid you not,) Rooter Bong. Uh, you wanna see some really good s**t? Its either a party truck, or this joker has some really "unique" ways of unclogging the drains. Either way? I don't really think he's gonna be my first call.
Smoky Joe's Bong Master Deluxe? Got them on insta-dial.

Charlie Sheen has pleaded not guilty, once again. That's not funny. What is funny, is Charlie, pleading. Somehow, I just don't see it.

Bradley Blakeman of FOXed Nudes is complaining he went on MSNBC and got "amBushed" and was "rudely interrupted" numerous times. And isn't that staple entertainment on FOXed? Boo-hoo, Brad. Now man-up and get back to your usual unfair and unhinged reporting, 'K?

Liz Cheney is trying to "Keep America Safe." She could start by sending her father to the tribal regions. No, not in Pakistan - in Texas. With all the loose canons down there, not to mention all the handguns, its just a matter of time before there's another "hunting accident." That oughta keep us all a lot safer. Then maybe she could work on getting that voice-box removal she keeps promising us.

CDC makes no-sail recommendation for cruise ship

Funny - I never noticed those things even had sails.

Toyota wants us all to slow down. That's all. No jokes. Just slow down.

Hey, If Ya Gotta Hurl, Just Don't Do It in the Hospital!

noreply@blogger.com (NBWK) — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 01:00:00 +0000

If you, my singular reader, have despaired of me being less-than-regular, I pray thee forgive moi. I have went and gone got meself stuck in the flypaper that is the "Great US Health Crass System." Doctor says 3-5 days in the hospital, Anthem says screw that, ya gots 2, sucka! Doctor says we need another MRI, Anthem says, use a frakkin' Polaroid, sucka! Doctor says take this pain medication, Anthem says, bite this piece of bark, sucka! Oh, and sucka? Now you pay us 39% more, or you can take a long nose dive off a short ladder. "Sucka" is right.

On the upside, Rash Limpburger stated the other day he will leave the country if the Prez's health care plan passes. See? There is a silver lining. Well, aluminum foil, at least. All this damn cold weather we've been having? Cap'n Windbags, of course! All this gridlock on Corruption Hill? Olde Blowhard, once again! See all the wrongs we could right?

But seriously, folks. Can I call you folks? It seems so, well, homey, eh? Folks, I gotta plan I think yer gonna like! Yep, a real plan. It goes like this: If ya get sick, go to your local State house, and puke on their floor. If enough people do that, especially if a dozen or so do it simultaneously, well, I think they'll notice how sick those jerkoffs are making the rest of us. This way we can kill (OK, euthanize) several lobby-birds with one upchuck - highlight the need for user-friendly health coverage, and a direct comment on what we really think of the current crop of politicos of all stripes. And for every day they sit around and jabber, or for every dollar they rake in from corporate swine and lobby-monkeys, another dozen floor paintings. I recommend chili-con-carne - leaves a real mess.

OK, maybe you don't care for direct action. Try this. Call the bozitos and tell them you won't vote for them anymore. Do that every day for a week with each of your so-called "representatives" and get all your friends to do the same thing. You think those lobbyists (what, do they have couches and side tables on them, or what?) will have as much clout as something like that? No frakkin' way, Carl! They hear from 100 hundred constituents a day telling them they have a drop-dead sell-by date, and believe you me, they'll get crackin' right quick! The corporate stooges wave bucks, but the voter waves yer ass bye-bye, baby!

OK, so now ya can't tell me I ain't tryin' to contribute to a solution, can ya? As Scoop Nisker used to say, "If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own"!!

Toodles.

Red Rove-er, Red Rove-er, Er, Send a Vomit Bag Right Over

noreply@blogger.com (NBWK) — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 17:16:00 +0000

Well, Pea-Brained Karl (ain't talkin' Marx here, Kiddies!) has just unleashed another piece of prime hyperbole and fanciful fabrications onto the world in the form of a piece of pulp fiction called (get ready - wait for it - hold your breath!_ "Courage and Consequences." And let's get right to it, shall we?

"Courage?" You must mean as in Courage the Cowardly Yellow Dog, right? Hell, Far Right, er, Wrong, is closer to the "truth" (which must always be in quotes when uttered in the same country as Karly-boy.) This twit has the courage of a school-yard bully, at best, and at worst, less than dead slime mold. Let's face it - when you invesnt lies and dirty tricks and then hide behind your candidate, when you deny having done these same things by saying things like "I don't think the American voter is that stupid" (when he actually does), and when he has no apologies for having foisted G. Bush on the American voters and taxpayers not once but twice, well, he did justifiably earn the name "Turd Blossom," I have to give him that.

And "Consequences?" Er, what consequences? You mean the fiscal meltdown brought about on his Butt-Boy's watch? You mean the involvement in a war we had no business starting? You mean the loss of millions of jobs and millions of foreclosures and millions of retirement savings? You mean those consequences? I see. And I suppose that means there are no consequences for his own actions? Well, folks, this is America, where the voters are only stupid when they turn on you, but not when you screw the hell out of them. No siree! Then they are "concerned and involved," right? People, this is the guy Orwell used to illustrate "double-speak", and Rovy has it down to "double-plus un-good" if ya get my slow drift to oblivion.

Gee, cynical much? Noooo, why would you say such a thing?! I am a true believer. I just believe the opposite of what Turd-Boy believes. He believes he CAN fool all of the people all of the time.

Unfortunately, unless you-all decide to call him on his lies, well, he just may be right.

Toodles.

All Enamel, Baby! Or, Zippin' Down The Highway of Life in the Ricky Lane

noreply@blogger.com (NBWK) — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 15:56:00 +0000

Enamel coatings tend to make things all slick and shiny. Way hella lots o' money does the same thing. But when you put the two together, well, now we talkin' 'bout Shinny Happy People!! Take Rick "Self Serving" Perry down Texas way, tryin' to take the Gov mansion by advocating secession (and spendin' moolah like there's no tomorrow ((and maybe there ain't)). Yep. You heard that right - secession, as in, "it's our State and dammit, we are shuttin' down ALL the damn borders and declarin' our bad selves a separate country." Yee-friggin-ha! Well, it is Texas, and there are more tea baggers per square inch than anywhere outside of Wasilla, but still, talk about dirty pool filled with freshly-minted currency! Boy's got game!

Now, before all you folks out there think I've gone and lost my sad little mind, hear me out. I think a case can be made for old Rick-boy's idee majeur. , as it were. Them tea baggers seem to want their own country, or at least kick the rest of us out of ours, so I say, Texas? Not a bad start. Let's throw in Florida, Oklahoma, and Alaska, but no fly-over rights - don't really trust their pilots, if ya get my drift. I think they would have a) enough room; b) enough natural and unnatural resources; c) the people who don't want to be part of this less-than-grand Confederacy (oops, did I just coin a name for their new country? Maybe!), can move into the houses vacated by all the tea baggers and television/radio crap-yackers who opt to join the Degeneracy, er, Confederacy (gonna take some time to get this to just roll off the tongue, instead of making me gag); and d) have all the wrestlin', shootin', and screamin' time they all want.

Then maybe, just maybe, we give Vermont to the Demoncrats who keep waffling. It'll keep 'em in syrup for years.

The rest of us might finally be able to get some real things accomplished to put our (at that point) slightly fractured Nation back on track. To paraphrase John Lennon:

You may say I'm a dreamin', but I ain't the only one!

Toodles.

Olympic-level Headache - or, Their Frontal Lobes Don't Go All The Way To The Top Floor

noreply@blogger.com (NBWK) — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 17:34:00 +0000

OK, right here and now, full disclosure - I have been known to be fiscally conservative. It's my burden to carry the shame, but there it is, out there for all to see. For example, I always go for the cheapest items on the menu. And I have cut back on washing my car to twice a year - unless it rains - then I just drive fast afterward to shed the dirt. And I reuse those cup warmer/insulator thingy sleeves, sometime ten or more times. Least I can do, the way I see it. Oh, and sometimes I eat soup. From a can. Saves water, you see - don't have to wash the pot.

Now that I have that out of the way, let's take a look at those other so-called conservatives, you know, the Wrong Wing? Seems they really like to slam the "liberals" (I use that word with caution these days - there are an awful lot out there who wear that name who aren't even close - you know who I am talking about), mostly over passing "Big Programs." But what was the Bush Tax Relief Act for the Super Wealthy, if not a "Big Program" that has cost the guvmint massive deficits?

Let's talk a little turkey, eh? First, you want to fix a problem already in play when you get the job. You of course want to pay back all your supporters, but, well, it seems there are facts on the ground that resist the magic wand of wishful thinking. So. What do you do? Well, for starters, what you DON'T do is cut your own legs out from under you, not if you are really a "conservative." No, first, as our good buddy Hippocrates said, you do no harm. If your aim is to shore up the foundation, you don't start by adding another story first - you fix the damn foundation with the idea of adding an extra story factored into the building plan. Put another way, you don't sell your horse just before its time to haul your crop to market. Which, strangely enough, is what the so-called conservatives in the Bush disministration did - they cut taxes to those most able to pay while already starting to enter a deficit after inheriting - wait for it - a surplus. A friggin' surplus! And, they chose to fight two wars, when only one of them was actually necessary. Nice timing.

Fast forward (painfully) to today. The Prez, yep, inherits a deficit, not just a small one, mind you, but a real whopper, and when he has to choose the demon we know over the one we don't, or at least hope we don't have to, well, how is that his fault? His job, near as I can tell, is to try and steer the ship o' State away from the rocks, and into clear and calm waters. But he doesn't just inherit the biggest damn deficit and debt burden in the history of the freakin' world, no, he also inherits a financial-sector friggin' meltdown, set in motion by the excesses of lazy-unfair greed-centered capitalistic orgies. And because he still doesn't have this Godzilla-set of problems solved and everyone in America back to work making an easy six-figure payday after his first year in office? Well, that means he is a failed president. Anybody remember G. Bush? Hell, no.

So you Wrong Wingers want to harp about fiscal conservatism? Then show me the freakin' money! You want your wars to continue? Pay for them! You want your precious Wall Street friends to keep bailing you out of your reelection jitters? I guess you better keep bailing THEM out, right? But you keep wanting to do it with MY money! And that, my bozitos, is the friggin' CRUX of the problem. You want to cut the taxes of the super-wealthy and keep them low forever? Fine. You and them can go to all those private islands the rich own, and become your own banana-split republic. And figure your own way out of your own problems, instead of getting richer off the problems you-all created!

The rest of us? We have a damaged nation to repair, thanks to you and your "special friends." So scram. Go away. Mad or otherwise, we don't really care.

Just stop selling us the fake-conservatism you pretend to champion.

'Cause you-all? You only champion your own wealth. And the country be damned.

Don't Ask, Don't Yell - The Eternal Party of "NO" Finally Comes Out of the Closet

noreply@blogger.com (NBWK) — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 21:41:00 +0000

Ya gotta love those Repugnants - they sure are Olympic-level champions of the insincere deflected question. Every time someone asks them what it is they "really want" (as though we all don't know!) regarding the health careless system, they always respond with things on the order of "As long as the Democrats refuse to compromise, there is no room for discussion." Uh, right - its the fault of everyone else - the Repugs didn't break the economy - Little Jimmy Obama did. Its not the Repugs who won't compromise on the bill, its the Dems who keep saying poopy things about poor, downtrodden, helpless little ol' us!

Yeeeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhh -uh -no. Wrong, wrong, wrong. These jokers are on the loosing bobsled team of the present day, and they intend on dragging the whole country down with them if they can't play the game their way. Screw everyone else - we're taking our (and your) ball and going home to where the lobbyists roam. Typical bully behavior.

Ya know, I am not as sure as most seem to be that the tea party will have room at the table for some of these bozos later on. See, the problem with creating extreme polarization is, it damns you, too. You may THINK its giving you an advantage, but sooner or later, its gonna bite you right in the asinine ideals you try to shove down everyone else's throats. Take this idea of reconcilliation, for example. The Repugnants know what it is - they've used it themselves to ram stuff down the Nation's throats fully 18 times since the 1980s, including the infamous Gingrich "Contract on America." And look how long THAT lasted. Not to mention the enmity it created not much later among the voting populace.

So now it looks as though the Demoncrats will have to resort to the same device to get any damn thing done in this "not on our goddam watch" minority-controlled Congress. Wow. And here all this time they've been railing against minorities - turns out, they just wanted to be one themselves. Aww, its OK, all is forgiven, come on in for a round of kumbaya, ya'll!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch (you know, the one where all the cowboys are out of work and paying through their saddle sores for hernia repair), the rest of us total suckers keep kissing the butts of one corporate greed-rapist after another, only to find out they left us high and dry in the morning. Granted - they DID come back in the evening to finish the repossession, but all we ended up with was a more severe case of SDTs - Spit on, Dumped on, and Taken. , and I don't mean for a ride in the country, I mean taking the country for a long ride off a short pier.

So here is a small suggestion for both "parties" who think we are the party to take their favors from - back off. You were hired (yeah, yeah, "elected" - gimme a break - you were hired by the special interests who bought the "election" for you - we ain't THAT stoopid,) to be OUR representatives, and to do the job FOR THE COUNTRY, not for you and your "special friends." So get back to work, doing the real people's work. And right quick, ya dig? You may THINK you have everything sewn up for a coup in the midterm "elections," but don't say we didn't warn ALL of you.

Things have a funny way of doing the opposite of what you want them to do. Especially with the voters.

Toodles.