Olympic-level Headache - or, Their Frontal Lobes Don't Go All The Way To The Top Floor

OK, right here and now, full disclosure - I have been known to be fiscally conservative. It's my burden to carry the shame, but there it is, out there for all to see. For example, I always go for the cheapest items on the menu. And I have cut back on washing my car to twice a year - unless it rains - then I just drive fast afterward to shed the dirt. And I reuse those cup warmer/insulator thingy sleeves, sometime ten or more times. Least I can do, the way I see it. Oh, and sometimes I eat soup. From a can. Saves water, you see - don't have to wash the pot.

Now that I have that out of the way, let's take a look at those other so-called conservatives, you know, the Wrong Wing? Seems they really like to slam the "liberals" (I use that word with caution these days - there are an awful lot out there who wear that name who aren't even close - you know who I am talking about), mostly over passing "Big Programs." But what was the Bush Tax Relief Act for the Super Wealthy, if not a "Big Program" that has cost the guvmint massive deficits?

Let's talk a little turkey, eh? First, you want to fix a problem already in play when you get the job. You of course want to pay back all your supporters, but, well, it seems there are facts on the ground that resist the magic wand of wishful thinking. So. What do you do? Well, for starters, what you DON'T do is cut your own legs out from under you, not if you are really a "conservative." No, first, as our good buddy Hippocrates said, you do no harm. If your aim is to shore up the foundation, you don't start by adding another story first - you fix the damn foundation with the idea of adding an extra story factored into the building plan. Put another way, you don't sell your horse just before its time to haul your crop to market. Which, strangely enough, is what the so-called conservatives in the Bush disministration did - they cut taxes to those most able to pay while already starting to enter a deficit after inheriting - wait for it - a surplus. A friggin' surplus! And, they chose to fight two wars, when only one of them was actually necessary. Nice timing.

Fast forward (painfully) to today. The Prez, yep, inherits a deficit, not just a small one, mind you, but a real whopper, and when he has to choose the demon we know over the one we don't, or at least hope we don't have to, well, how is that his fault? His job, near as I can tell, is to try and steer the ship o' State away from the rocks, and into clear and calm waters. But he doesn't just inherit the biggest damn deficit and debt burden in the history of the freakin' world, no, he also inherits a financial-sector friggin' meltdown, set in motion by the excesses of lazy-unfair greed-centered capitalistic orgies. And because he still doesn't have this Godzilla-set of problems solved and everyone in America back to work making an easy six-figure payday after his first year in office? Well, that means he is a failed president. Anybody remember G. Bush? Hell, no.

So you Wrong Wingers want to harp about fiscal conservatism? Then show me the freakin' money! You want your wars to continue? Pay for them! You want your precious Wall Street friends to keep bailing you out of your reelection jitters? I guess you better keep bailing THEM out, right? But you keep wanting to do it with MY money! And that, my bozitos, is the friggin' CRUX of the problem. You want to cut the taxes of the super-wealthy and keep them low forever? Fine. You and them can go to all those private islands the rich own, and become your own banana-split republic. And figure your own way out of your own problems, instead of getting richer off the problems you-all created!

The rest of us? We have a damaged nation to repair, thanks to you and your "special friends." So scram. Go away. Mad or otherwise, we don't really care.

Just stop selling us the fake-conservatism you pretend to champion.

'Cause you-all? You only champion your own wealth. And the country be damned.

Let's All Fly Naked!

If it wasn't for the nasty scar where I had that totally righteous "extension" surgery last fall, I'd say naked security checks are the wave of the future. But I'm not sure I'd want to be the one to cause terminal shame to all those poor slobs at the TSA - they might not recover in time to do a thorough job on the old lady behind me in line. But....if that's what we have to do to keep the flying public safe, well, what they hey! Besides - might even get a film contract out of the deal, ya never know!

Mi esposa, on the other hand, is damned pissed off with that idiot Nigerian - he sets his pants on fire, and now everyone else has to drop theirs. And she ain't so sure she wants anyone getting a gander on HER surgical results. No, no, I'll say no more!!

The thing that's really got my (soon to be dropped) shorts in a bunch is the totally fruitcake idea of making everyone stay in their seats for the last freakin' hour of the flight. Really? That gonna go over big anywhere YOU can think of? 'Cuz with MY prostate, well, they damn well be ready to hand out Depends, especially if we can't even cover up the accident with a lap blanky anymore. I don't think those boneheads have really thought this thing through. Hell - all any slightly intelligent terrorist will have to do is visit the little terrorist's room five minutes before lockdown, and he won't even have any of those pissed-off passengers to deal with. Way to go dudes!!!

As for the equally boneheaded Far Wrongers making whoopee over Obama's delay in saying what THEY demand he say, let's do a little historic replay, shall we:

It's early in the morning on September 11, 2001, and GW Bush is reading "MY Pet Goat" to a kindergarten class in Florida. And some observers point out the damn book was upside down, but why quibble - If you are Bushie, it reads the same either way. So when the Secret Service guy or whoever comes into the classroom and whispers into our Fearless Leader's ear tube, how does the Bushman react?

He sits there for an additional several minutes. Then, he gets on a plan and fly's around trying to finish the damn book, as far as anyone really knows.

Obamaman, on the other hand, waits until all the facts are available, regarding an attack that failed, and then comes out forcefully demanding a full investigation into the lapses in security that contributed to this jerkwad's even getting as far as he did. Funny though - he never once uses the word, "crusade." And has yet to say the word - yellow cake - or make calls to various county's in search of special rendition possibilities. So I kinda doubt he even begins to compare to the fallen Ayatolah, Bush.

So here's a heads-up to the Ayatollahs O'Really and Becky Boy: I see yer jaws flappin' but I ain't hearing anything helpful coming out of either of the two pieholes, ya dig?

See, I don't really for a minute think the Far Wrong has once considered the impact of their insanity on the country as a whole  - for them its all, if'n not for me, I ain't doin' squat!." Specially fer the damn the country, 'cuz them damn liberals refuse to leave. So its our ball, and we are taikn' it home, homey.

The real question here is, which damn country we gonna bomb next: Swaziland? New Jersey?

Doesn't really matter though: Those bastardey will only be able to sellin more recuitment posters.

Well, toodles - see ya next decade, (if you can't accept the Aughties any longer.

Eating Their Own (So What's New?)

Nice to see the Repubs continue in their traditional rituals - sacrificing the country to "make their point," showing their true colors (and I ain't talkin' red, white, 'n blue here, folks,) and their long-time practice of ritual cannibalism. Its actually amazing to see the shear number of former Bush-ites finally bein' the Truthers they should have been when it would have made a difference. Be they former aides, former speechwriters, or former cabinet members, they suddenly can't wait to "spill the wine" on the Three Stooges who pretended to run the country while they were really just lining their own pockets and ramming their ideology down the throat of the world. Nice guys, I admit (not the Tres Stoogettes, but the Truthers,) but it really is just too little, way too late.

I mean, if you want the world to sing in perfect harmony, ya gotta let them know they're off key when they are actually off key, not when the coast is clear, and the wallet needs filling. Coming out now is like saying, "I wasn't ready to admit to myself I was a Truther at the time, but now, I just have to be honest with myself." OK, so maybe the family wouldn't have embraced your "lifestyle choice," but at least you could have found happiness, and gone to better bars. You know, the kind that plays disco till 4 AM? Not to mention how much better you would feel if you had actually shown you took the Constitution seriously, unlike those Bozitos you worked for?

So while I am glad to hear what King George VI said about Hil's fanny in a chair, I'd have been happier had you spoken up sooner, so we could have maybe kicked the Stooges out of theirs (actually, those chairs were OURS. Ya dig?)