Let's All Fly Naked!

If it wasn't for the nasty scar where I had that totally righteous "extension" surgery last fall, I'd say naked security checks are the wave of the future. But I'm not sure I'd want to be the one to cause terminal shame to all those poor slobs at the TSA - they might not recover in time to do a thorough job on the old lady behind me in line. But....if that's what we have to do to keep the flying public safe, well, what they hey! Besides - might even get a film contract out of the deal, ya never know!

Mi esposa, on the other hand, is damned pissed off with that idiot Nigerian - he sets his pants on fire, and now everyone else has to drop theirs. And she ain't so sure she wants anyone getting a gander on HER surgical results. No, no, I'll say no more!!

The thing that's really got my (soon to be dropped) shorts in a bunch is the totally fruitcake idea of making everyone stay in their seats for the last freakin' hour of the flight. Really? That gonna go over big anywhere YOU can think of? 'Cuz with MY prostate, well, they damn well be ready to hand out Depends, especially if we can't even cover up the accident with a lap blanky anymore. I don't think those boneheads have really thought this thing through. Hell - all any slightly intelligent terrorist will have to do is visit the little terrorist's room five minutes before lockdown, and he won't even have any of those pissed-off passengers to deal with. Way to go dudes!!!

As for the equally boneheaded Far Wrongers making whoopee over Obama's delay in saying what THEY demand he say, let's do a little historic replay, shall we:

It's early in the morning on September 11, 2001, and GW Bush is reading "MY Pet Goat" to a kindergarten class in Florida. And some observers point out the damn book was upside down, but why quibble - If you are Bushie, it reads the same either way. So when the Secret Service guy or whoever comes into the classroom and whispers into our Fearless Leader's ear tube, how does the Bushman react?

He sits there for an additional several minutes. Then, he gets on a plan and fly's around trying to finish the damn book, as far as anyone really knows.

Obamaman, on the other hand, waits until all the facts are available, regarding an attack that failed, and then comes out forcefully demanding a full investigation into the lapses in security that contributed to this jerkwad's even getting as far as he did. Funny though - he never once uses the word, "crusade." And has yet to say the word - yellow cake - or make calls to various county's in search of special rendition possibilities. So I kinda doubt he even begins to compare to the fallen Ayatolah, Bush.

So here's a heads-up to the Ayatollahs O'Really and Becky Boy: I see yer jaws flappin' but I ain't hearing anything helpful coming out of either of the two pieholes, ya dig?

See, I don't really for a minute think the Far Wrong has once considered the impact of their insanity on the country as a whole  - for them its all, if'n not for me, I ain't doin' squat!." Specially fer the damn the country, 'cuz them damn liberals refuse to leave. So its our ball, and we are taikn' it home, homey.

The real question here is, which damn country we gonna bomb next: Swaziland? New Jersey?

Doesn't really matter though: Those bastardey will only be able to sellin more recuitment posters.

Well, toodles - see ya next decade, (if you can't accept the Aughties any longer.

Jerks in the Ascendency: O'Really Really Pokes Self in Eye

The LA Times has a story on the great Bill Moyers, last of the true moralists in media today. Seems this particular Bill is stepping down, figuring that 75 years is as good a time as any to finally retire, maybe write some more books, maybe take the grandkids fishing. Good on him, I say, and may the best await you.

But this is the story of another Bill, a Jerk of the First Magnitude. Seems Bill O'Really? thinks it was he who is responsible for "forcing Moyers off the air."  Talk about a foul stench.This Jerk of Jerks, this King Rat Jerk, who has nothing but bone in his head, actually has the temerity to believe he is a better person than Moyers? If it wasn't so clearly laughable, I'd be projectile vomiting at the very air he occupies.

Let's set the record straight, eh? O'Really doesn't have the talent of a dead gnat - he just yells louder than a wounded pig. Yes, its clear he "speaks" to some "element" such as the teabagger pigletts, but lets be honest - he has the integrity of same mentioned dead gnat, except at least the gnat has the decency to shut up once in a while.

America, let me ask you a question - do you REALLY want this country run by the No Nothing, Care Nothing Party led by O'Really and Glenny Beckandcall? 'Cuz if you do, then I suggest you all just take Alaska and that Moose Queen and play by yourselves. Because I can guarantee - you are in for a real fight.

Most REAL Americans want democracy - not Bluto-ocracy.

Toodles.

Friday and the Livin' is Queasy

Little Glenny Beck has stirred up yet another whorenets nest by being offered keys to the city or some such back in his little old hometown way up yonder Washington Way. Seems news of this less-than-auspicious occasion flipped a switch inside the collective/socialist hive mind across the Northwest Liberal Region, and faster than you could say "teabagger," the neighboring burg of Bellingham said, "Ha!" "we'll get John-boy Stewart." I kinda like it - tragedy and comedy, side by side.

Now, while I have no issue with people speakin' they minds, I do find it both ironic (to all those on the Far Wrong, that's a sort of supplement ya'll take with yer daily dose 'o Comeuppance) and funny as hell. It wasn't even a week ago the Far Wronger Teabagger Truthers was spittin' venom at anyone who dared complain about their OWN ranting and railing against all things Obama. So here ya are, gittin' a return favor-type spankin' and ya'll gotta howl about that, too. Seems you folks are damn persnickety about havin' things both ways, ain't ya? Ya'll are maybe lookin' fer a smackdown, is that it? Cause I gotta tell ya, just wait till Shakes the Clown gets pissed at ya'll. Make John-boy Stewart look like a paper weight.

In the meantime, maybe Glenny could be willing to settle for a plague, er, plaque from Bobby Jones University. I understand they like THEIR irony in much smaller capsules.

(By the way - Teabagger? Now, why would you be advertising your sexual proclivities all over the media like that, and call yerselves "family-friendly," and claim to have "family values?" Unless you're doing that nasty stuff at hom....no! You di-ent say that!! Oh, yes you did!)