Tuesday, March 2, 2010

All Enamel, Baby! Or, Zippin' Down The Highway of Life in the Ricky Lane

Enamel coatings tend to make things all slick and shiny. Way hella lots o' money does the same thing. But when you put the two together, well, now we talkin' 'bout Shinny Happy People!! Take Rick "Self Serving" Perry down Texas way, tryin' to take the Gov mansion by advocating secession (and spendin' moolah like there's no tomorrow ((and maybe there ain't)). Yep. You heard that right - secession, as in, "it's our State and dammit, we are shuttin' down ALL the damn borders and declarin' our bad selves a separate country." Yee-friggin-ha! Well, it is Texas, and there are more tea baggers per square inch than anywhere outside of Wasilla, but still, talk about dirty pool filled with freshly-minted currency! Boy's got game!

Now, before all you folks out there think I've gone and lost my sad little mind, hear me out. I think a case can be made for old Rick-boy's idee majeur. , as it were. Them tea baggers seem to want their own country, or at least kick the rest of us out of ours, so I say, Texas? Not a bad start. Let's throw in Florida, Oklahoma, and Alaska, but no fly-over rights - don't really trust their pilots, if ya get my drift. I think they would have a) enough room; b) enough natural and unnatural resources; c) the people who don't want to be part of this less-than-grand Confederacy (oops, did I just coin a name for their new country? Maybe!), can move into the houses vacated by all the tea baggers and television/radio crap-yackers who opt to join the Degeneracy, er, Confederacy (gonna take some time to get this to just roll off the tongue, instead of making me gag); and d) have all the wrestlin', shootin', and screamin' time they all want.

Then maybe, just maybe, we give Vermont to the Demoncrats who keep waffling. It'll keep 'em in syrup for years.

The rest of us might finally be able to get some real things accomplished to put our (at that point) slightly fractured Nation back on track. To paraphrase John Lennon:

You may say I'm a dreamin', but I ain't the only one!


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