Thursday, March 11, 2010

Hey, If Ya Gotta Hurl, Just Don't Do It in the Hospital!

If you, my singular reader, have despaired of me being less-than-regular, I pray thee forgive moi. I have went and gone got meself stuck in the flypaper that is the "Great US Health Crass System." Doctor says 3-5 days in the hospital, Anthem says screw that, ya gots 2, sucka! Doctor says we need another MRI, Anthem says, use a frakkin' Polaroid, sucka! Doctor says take this pain medication, Anthem says, bite this piece of bark, sucka! Oh, and sucka? Now you pay us 39% more, or you can take a long nose dive off a short ladder. "Sucka" is right.

On the upside, Rash Limpburger stated the other day he will leave the country if the Prez's health care plan passes. See? There is a silver lining. Well, aluminum foil, at least. All this damn cold weather we've been having? Cap'n Windbags, of course! All this gridlock on Corruption Hill? Olde Blowhard, once again! See all the wrongs we could right?

But seriously, folks. Can I call you folks? It seems so, well, homey, eh? Folks, I gotta plan I think yer gonna like! Yep, a real plan. It goes like this: If ya get sick, go to your local State house, and puke on their floor. If enough people do that, especially if a dozen or so do it simultaneously, well, I think they'll notice how sick those jerkoffs are making the rest of us. This way we can kill (OK, euthanize) several lobby-birds with one upchuck - highlight the need for user-friendly health coverage, and a direct comment on what we really think of the current crop of politicos of all stripes. And for every day they sit around and jabber, or for every dollar they rake in from corporate swine and lobby-monkeys, another dozen floor paintings. I recommend chili-con-carne - leaves a real mess.

OK, maybe you don't care for direct action. Try this. Call the bozitos and tell them you won't vote for them anymore. Do that every day for a week with each of your so-called "representatives" and get all your friends to do the same thing. You think those lobbyists (what, do they have couches and side tables on them, or what?) will have as much clout as something like that? No frakkin' way, Carl! They hear from 100 hundred constituents a day telling them they have a drop-dead sell-by date, and believe you me, they'll get crackin' right quick! The corporate stooges wave bucks, but the voter waves yer ass bye-bye, baby!

OK, so now ya can't tell me I ain't tryin' to contribute to a solution, can ya? As Scoop Nisker used to say, "If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own"!!

Toodles.

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