Smile When You Say That, Hombre! And Then Gift-Wrap The Damn Thing!

Oh, those poor, poor Repubs, so afraid for their tiny selves. Once again, we have a case of the Potty Mouths calling the O'Kettle black, er, whatever. Lamar, or "Hedy" as he likes to be called, is today quoted in Reuters as telling The Big O to "not make an enemies list." Well, sheesh, little fella, how the hayseed is he ever gonna know who NOT to shoot? Times are dicey out here on the Far Wrong Range, dontcha know?

OK, lets do the drill. "Alexander cited as examples the Obama administration's suggestion that it may support stripping the insurance industry of its exemption of federal anti-trust laws, its clash with the U.S. Chamber of Commerce and the president saying he will call out people who oppose him and boycott Fox News network."

Number One, Hedy, can you Puhleaze! explain why the protection rackets, er, the insurance industry should even BE exempt from anti-trust laws in the first place? Hell, I'M not! Who the hell are they to get such special treatment? Oh. Right. The lap you sit on. Sorry, my bad.

And "it's clash with the U.S. Chamber-pot of Congress?" First of all, that so-called organization is NOT a public organization, its a private club who lobbies to shove things down the little guy's throats so the Big Buggers keep rakin' it in. EVERYBODY knows that. Second, last I saw, it was other BUSINESSES who were shamin' the 'ol Chamber. Third, Hedy, you don't mind if I call you Hedy, do you? You ever HEAR anyone from the Ad-Min say anything about girl-cotting those Chamber Beotches? Sounds like ya'll want to generate another one o' those fake controversies ya'll seem to like. Come on, time for a new game plan, eh?

He's gonna "call out people who oppose him?" Really? You mean, he's going to make them actually explain their positions? He's going to hold their BS up to the light of day? You think THAT amounts to an "enemies list?" Wow. Ya really HAVE been hittin' that koolaid a bit hard lately, haven't you? Hedy, listen closely - its called the "bully pulpit", ya see? And EVERY president uses it when they have to to get THE WORK OF THE PEOPLE done, ya dig? That's OK, take yer time. It'll get through sooner or later. I'll wait.

As for boycottin' FOXY? Riiiiiiiggghhhttttt! Since they keep braggin' about how everything negative said about them just seems to increase the number of yahoos who tune in to their clap-trap vermin urination station, what's got their panties in such a bunch? Isn't that what Rupert Baby really dreams about every night while falling asleep holding his "personal" digital assistant? (Ya know, it occurs to me I may have read your words incorrectly, Hedy. It almost looks like you are saying he's gonna "call out people who oppose HIM, AND boycott Fox." Is that right? Now why in the world would he call up people who oppose HIM, and tell THEM to boycott FOXY? Seems like he might actually want YOU-ALL to do that boycottin' thing, don't it? Is that what you mean? Cuz if it is, I cannot understand a word you are saying. Just messes with my central synapse somethin' fierce.)

Besides. We don't need no stinkin' "enemies list" to know who we are sick of hearing spout pure vile drool day in and day out. We have figured out for ourselves that FOXY is clearly NOT about news, or reporting, being as they are so unfair and unhinged. And just plain nuts.

And you, Hedy. Whasamattayou? Shillin' fer yer groupies? Takin' a bullet for the Team? Seems you, like WAAAAAYY too many of your ilk (god, I've wanted to use that word all week!) spend more time tryin' to protect the "interests" of your corporate "constituents" than the actual people who voted for you. I guess that's because those corporate "citizens" pay better, eh?

Anyway. I think ya'll have yer OWN enemies list, dontcha? And I don't think I'd be too far off the mark by guessing your Numero Uno Enemy is, in fact, The Big O. Come on, you can tell me. I promise to keep it right here between our collective selves, OK? Given as how both you Retreads AND your yapping pit bull FOXY can't seem to find ANYTHING to say yes to, or even make an attempt to find common ground with anyone else in America, I really don't think you guys have cause for complaints about someone else thinkin' maybe its you-all who are the Real Problem here.

Oh, and Hedly? I CAN tell you about someone who DOES have a list. And I am pretty damn sure that this year, he's gonna be checking it MORE than twice.

Toodles.

Pelosi Chases Balloon Boy Across Taliban Stronghold. Rove "Very Upset"

Its time for another lesson in abject idiocy (as if there haven't been enough of THOSE lately.) When a hoax involving a flying saucer-shaped balloon, an invisible boy, a storm-chasing UFO groupie, and the Colorado police authorities is bigger news than the US of A locking up several dozen people captured in Afghanistan and playing Roddy Piper on their small, shaved heads for eight years while depriving them of any rights to say, legal representation and habeus corpus, things you and I take for granted (by the Constitution,) well, we are in serious, deep s**t. If you were one of the apparent millions who were both captivated by and disappointed to find out your tender sensibilities were spit on by gettin' yer sorry asses fooled again (as if you weren't fooled again by Bushie and His Boyz and ever really worried that maybe, just maybe, that was a sign of the impending apocalypse), gave two seconds of thought to the situation of these poor Uighar fellas whose only sin was bein' in the wrong place at the wrong time when Uncle Sam and his Kick-As Kiddies came stormin' in their front doors and did a "24" on their sad souls, well, tough. Boo-hoo for poor you.

Ya know what? I think ya'll deserve to lose the protections guaranteed by the Constitution until you swear off tabloid junk masquerading as "news." Its clear you can't think about anything but Judge Judy-Judy, and NASCAR, and the freakin' Fantasy Four. You-all clearly haven't earned the rights you bray about the Liberals takin' away from you, especially as you seem entirely too enthralled with taking rights away from anyone who disagrees with you about such important topics as worshiping invisible white guys.

At least I can SEE Mr. Clean. All you got is The Big Cheese-head with a microphone. That, and the voices in yer heads.

Just quit demanding we hear them, too.

Lady Liberty Gone Missing. Friends Say She Was Tired of All The Lies, Heavy Book.

Listen up, whiners on the Far Wrong. Always complaining about them damn fereigners? Want to close the borders of the Good Ole Whatever this is now? Can't stop calling anyone who disagrees with you un-American? Well, let's take a look at how ya'll have managed to completely screw up the entire idea of America, from top to the sub-basement of Far Wrong failed ideologee, honey, we got screwed again!

This latest from the WaPo(st), about how we really screwed up the lives of truly innocent people in our zeal to persecute, er, prosecute the War Against Terror-or-or-or-orrr (bad echo in here), on the Uighars we kidnapped from Off-and-on-istan. We stole 'em, totuga'd 'em, and now, they a-lookin' fer a home, poor weevils. And we think we're the Greatest Nation Ever, or some such crap? No wonder ewe jerkoids on the Far and Distant Wrong can't get a leg up these days - everything youse says just contradicts everything ya'll purport to stand for.

Let's be honest, can we? Huh? Ya'll don't REALLY want The People to have freedom and rights, like that antique piece-'o-paper the Constitution says we do, do you? Naw. Ya'll REALLY want those things for YOU all, and want to see everyone else (colored folk, liberals, and Al Franken) to be shipped off-shore, who gives a s**t where. Cuz' yer the REAL 'Murihcans, ain'tcha? I mean, that wierd stuff written on the Lady Liberty (Just a big green meany from those pesky Frenchies, anyway) has got it completely wrong.

It really oughta read, "Give me you rich, huddled group thinkers, your wretchedly rich excuses for inhumanity, and keep all those other riff-raff off our shores." Problem is, it doesn't rhyme.

Come to think of it, neither do you-all.

Calling the Kettle Black, er, White? Er, black? Whatever!

The White House, current home to that black (when he isn't white) president, is currently warring with FOX News over whether FOX is actually a news organization or some other form of quasi-queazie professional hit squad. This of course has raised hackles at the hindquarters of said Hit Squad. From the Far Wrong's august Fearless Leader, one K. Rove, comes this little squibble:


"Fox News contributor Karl Rove, who was the top political strategist to former President George W. Bush, said: "This is an administration that's getting very arrogant and slippery in its dealings with people. And if you dare to oppose them, they're going to come hard at you and they're going to cut your legs off."

"This is a White House engaging in its own version of the media enemies list. And it's unhelpful for the country and undignified for the president of the United States to so do," Rove added. "That is over- the-top language. We heard that before from Richard Nixon."

Hmm. Why he said that, I am not certain, but since he did, lets all jump on his back, what say? Or at least, let's de-construct this veritable snake-pit of delicious ooziness, shall we?

"This is an administration that's getting very arrogant and slippery in its dealings with people." This from Georgy-Porgy's lap dancer? Wow. Lets talk about arrogance and slipperiness in dealings with people. First off, what "people" is he actually talking about here? Citizens of the Republic? Republicans only? Everyone except Republicans? Seems to me without Little Karl getting clearer on this, we cannot ever be sure. I mean, I'd like to think of this little freak as somehow "inclusive," but I haven't had that much to drink yet today. As for arrogance? Do I really HAVE to spell it out? OK. How about NEARLY EVERYTHING ya'll did, from declaring war in Iraq over well, pure lies, to "Good job, Brownie, to mission accomplished - all this wasn't arrogance? Wasn't "slippery?" Give me a freakin' break.

How about, "And if you dare to oppose them, they're going to come hard at you and they're going to cut your legs off."? Can you say Valery Plame? Can you say Helen Thomas? Should I go on?

"This is a White House engaging in its own version of the media enemies list." See above item, please. And given it was in fact FOX News who aided and abetted all this crapolla I think makes the White House's claim quite succinctly.

"And it's unhelpful for the country and undignified for the president of the United States to so do," Rove added. "That is over- the-top language. We heard that before from Richard Nixon." And from George Bullshit (Gesundheit!). By reading from your teleprompter, Karl. Listen, ya little pipsqueak, this clap-trap coming from you just makes such an assertion about FOXY News that much more credible. Both you AND that Arch Duchess of Alaska are doing more to harm the Retreadican brand than anything the Demoncrats could ever do. Ya might want to go into an extended quiet period, just as a nice gesture to your old friends.

By the way, interesting how both you and Marx spell your names the same way, eh, Karl? You know - Grouchy?

Yeah, He Really Doesn't Have That Much On His Plate - Hand Him Another Snake

Eugene, Eugene. I have to tell you how much you are NOT "Post Partisan." That you are with the Post, unquestionable. But really. You are clearly NOT of The PostPartisan world you pretend to represent.

Like so many on the Far Wrong's Outpost's of Reality, you, too, have fallen into the mindless double un-think that passes for, well, intelligence? Let's review the tape, shall we?

1. The Prez has specific powers vis-a-vis Running The Country - he represents the Executive. BUT. He does NOT control the purse strings - that would be Congress, I believe.

2. Congress has descended into spittle-flecked babbling, is being roadblocked by insane ideology, and can't seem to find its way out of a paper bag with a GOP un.. - er - GPS unit.

3. The "O" Man inherited, how can I say this in polite company? Hmmm. A Shitstorm? Naw. Oh, I know - A Perfect Shitstorm! Yeah, that's the ticket! Not one, but two wars. Not one, but two nuclear-crazed fanatic nations trying to get on Who Wants To Be a Megalomaniac. Not one, but millions of economic mudslides burying the nation. Global warming, Chicken hawks on the one side, and progressive Dis-orders on the other. I could go on. And on. And - OK, I won't. (Come ON, Eugene - you know all this stuff. Ya just gotta remember to apply it.)

So, tell me Eugene. How would you handle the situation, hmmm? Remember those old Ed Sullivan shows? Where the Amazing Juggler from East Slobovia balanced spinning plates on big sticks? Think you could do that? With everyone watching you and judging every mistake as if you shouldn't be allowed among the living? Hmmm? No. No you couldn't, nor could most people on the planet.

The Big "O" was handed a sinking ship covered in the sewer of the neo-con job of the previous eight years, and everyone wants him to drop whatever he's doing, RIGHT NOW, and Get His Ass Over Here And Make Us All Feel Special.  Or we'll piss on his parade. So there. Nyah, nyah.

Ya know, normally, I think you have a rather level head. But lately, I think maybe your barber took a little too much off the top. Yer starting to resemble the flight deck on the Nimitz. Strange, for someone living so far inside the bubble.

New Orleans needs help, no doubt. So do the millions of people out of work, kicked out of their homes, and without anything resembling health care options. So, sorry, Big Easy, things are tough all around. "O's" gettin' to ya, as much as he can, as soon as he can. Ya wanna blame somebody, blame the decrepit neo-cons who left you low and wet in the first place. And got away without so much as a slap on the wrist.

So, Eugene, I ain't saying the "O" gets a free ride. All I'm sayin' is, go after the Real Stuff. You know, obscene corporate bonuses, Big Lobby payoffs to Congress (ever notice we don't call it what it most resembles - sexual congress? I mean, they're always screwing us, making us pay for it, and afterward, demand we let them do it again,  and we should let the Big Lobby watch. Sorry, I digress.) All the money paid by the Big Lobby just over the so-called health care debate could have built many levees, a new hospital, etc., down by the Big Muddy by now. So go after THOSE rat bastards.

Let the Big O get some work done, eh?

Is Glenny Beck Really a Higgs Boson?

When CERN's LHC - Large Hadron Collider - finally comes on line this December, it is thought by some rather fringe elements in the scientific community the whole thing might go "blooey" when it reaches energy levels designed to find the mythic Higg's Boson. Others, from the "scienterrific community" believe the Higg's Boson is actually Glenny Beck, who, when summoned by the collider, will erase himself from the Future, as Nature abhors His Vacuum-ness.

"According to the so-called Standard Model that rules almost all physics, the Higgs is responsible for imbuing other elementary particles with mass."

And yet, His Beckiness has so little mass as to enable him to pass through people's minds without leaving any trace. Interesting.

“It must be our prediction that all Higgs producing machines shall have bad luck,” Dr. Nielsen said in an e-mail message. In an unpublished essay, Dr. Nielson said of the theory, “Well, one could even almost say that we have a model for God.” It is their guess, he went on, “that He rather hates Higgs particles, and attempts to avoid them.”

He then went on to say Glenny Beck hates anyone who hates Higgs particles, and suggests God may actually be trying to avoid him. (And any Beck-producing machines shall fail to multiply.)

"Dr. Nielsen and Dr. Ninomiya started laying out their case for doom in the spring of 2008. It was later that fall, of course, after the CERN collider was turned on, that a connection between two magnets vaporized, shutting down the collider for more than a year.
Dr. Nielsen called that “a funny thing that could make us to believe in the theory of ours.”

And even funnier if anyone believes in the existence of a Glenny Beck particle of intelligence in the Universe.

Like That Hen-Clucking Song From Music Man

The Head Bozito of the Far Wrong, Karly Rove, just can't get enough of being a certified Nabob of Negativism. The Prez sneezes - Karly says it's a socialist plot. He says, more troops - Karly finds something else to pick on. He goes to New Orleans, and everybody throws a snit-fit (Did Bushy Boy go? Hell, no.) What next? The Senate Fiance Committed makes their move, and the hole Far Wrong blames anything about it on the "O"-man. These jerks are just no fun at all.

And Rushy? Hoo, boy. What a piece o'work. He spends years slamming everybody who isn't Him, and when someone at the White House points out what a fat-head his Rushiness is, why, he goes all "Oh, the Left is smearing me, oh, I must have them on the ropes," and like "oh, I'm not the leader of the Repugnant Party, I'm just their Nasty Boy." Kinda makes ya feel sorry for the Smeagol, don't it?

Well, I remember my Granny used to say, "what goes around, comes around." Thanks to all the mealy-mouthed rat chewers who spew for the Far Wrong, ya'll gittin' yours now, ain'tcha? And do you take it as a manly man? Hell, no! Ya'll get all "victim-y," dontcha?

Here's a lesson in Democracy, folks. "The People" are not what you say they are, they don't want what you say they want, they don't believe half the things you say, and they think the other half needs a lot of work. Ya wanna know what the People want? They want to be treated with respect, but mostly, they want Things To Work. And you Bozitos, spendin' all this time praying the "O" will fail, which is just another way of saying ya'll hope the country will fail, well, you don't have a clue on how to Make Things Work. Spending all this time trying to tear things apart just rips away that thin veneer of righteousness that cloaks your true failings - ya ain't got a clue (ya'll are makin' this stuff up as you go along, ain'tcha?). All ya want is to Rule, not to Govern.

Check it out in the dictionary, folks. There is a substantial difference between those two concepts. In a Democracy, we elect people to Govern. In a klepto-religio-plutocracy as we had for the last eight years, you stage a judicial coup with the intent to Rule.

Last I heard, we kicked King George out over that very difference. Then we kicked out the Other One last year. Ya'll sneak another one into the Big Tent, and sooner or later, We the People will kick that one out, too.

Toodles.