When I first saw this Value Voters Summit mash-up, I thought to myself, "Self, wasssuuupppp?" I mean really, now, people. Have we fallen so low that we have to stage a rally for Values? Especially when we have to listen to the real yo-yo's out there, saying horsepucky like, "All pornography is gay - er - homosexual?" Trust me, folks, gay guys DO NOT use Playboy or Penthouse for play-time activities. Stud and Johnny-Boy, maybe, but otherwise, it's all about pects, got it?
Now, lean in close here, I may have to whisper this - no, come on, closer, closer - - good. You know why the Far Wrong is "out of favor" at the moment? Little secret here - you never were IN favor - you just scream louder than the rest of us. And I can assure all you Strict Constructionists out there - THAT was NOT the Founders intent. Its not in the Federalist Papers, the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, or any other document that our Founders ever propounded. OK, now give me back my personal space.
Where was I? Oh, yeah. You, the Far and Truly Profane Wrong, don't really GET democracy, do you? Real democracy means you are welcome to your own beliefs, but you are NOT welcome to shove them down anyone else's throats, either through legislation, or through loud and obnoxious fear-mongering lies. That's right, YOU-all lie! Hey, it seems to work for you, so deal with it.
You are entirely welcome to your values. You don't believe in abortion? Don't have one. You don't like to pay taxes? Tough - no one does, but we all do it because, uh, gee - its the law of the land. Don't want to send your kids to real schools? Your choice (just don't blame the rest of us when they slam the door in your face when they figure out how they've been lied to.) Don't think its right to help other nations who are our allies? So stay home. You wanna yell? Go right ahead. Just don't be too shocked when everyone else just shuts the door because they are tired of listening to so much ear-splitting hooey.
And that beauty queen ya'll are clamoring for, Prejean? No, she ISN'T a hater. Just a loser. She didn't lose the contest because she doesn't believe in that Wrong Kind of Marriage (you know, the one sanctioned by the (wait for it) Guvmint. She lost because someone else got more points, or had deeper cleavage, who knows. But if this is how far the Far Wrong has to go to find a hero, well, that explains the whole enchilada. You'da thunk they'd learned enough with that loser from Alaska drilling that big hole in the GOP boat. Funny, she STILL couldn't find any oil.
You want Values? I usually find them at my local Target store, on Aisle 3.