Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Don't Buy Global Climate Change? How Exactly Do You Plan to Stay Afloat?

Ever fill a bathtub? Ever "go too far"? You know - have the bloody thing over-flow? Sure you have. Don't worry, we won't tell your Mom - yet. Here is what happens, just in case that brain fog created by watching too much Glenny Beck O'Really stalls the recall, Bucko. One moment the water is at the brim - following? The next moment, its all over the floor, leaking through the ceiling, all over your Dad's old record collection with those obscure groups like The Beattles and The Kinks. And you just KNOW Dads gonna whale the tar out of your behind. And you start working on some entirely new (you think!) excuse for why it happened that does NOT include, well, you? Hey, don't try to change the subject!

Anyhoo. The example herein should help you "slow learners" to just start to "get" the real impact of global climate change. You know - rising sea levels? I like to start with the easy concepts, ya dig? If you want a visual to help wrap your minds around things like, say, losing Florida, watching the New York Marathon underwater, or saying a final goodbye to the little island of Tuvalu, take a look here. Sure, we all thought Water World was a stinker, though you have to admit, gills on Kevin Costner was a distinct improvement. But it may soon be time to work on your own slimy bad guy outfit to go with that busted-up Ski-do, 'cuz the water is a'risin', my friends.

But worry not!! There is a new world waiting for us all - a mere 43 light years away, and if we're lucky, the water levels should have lowered a bit by the time we arrive, and we can start all over again, and take up our perpetual war right where we left off! I'm tellin' ya, Bucko, it gets me all warm and squishy inside just thinkin' about it. Already got my own aqua lung, wet suit, and short board, and a life-time supply of super-shark repellent.

You, on the other hand, can go fish!


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