Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Post-Apoplectic Ramblings

 Yeah, Like They Really Care About My Beach-front Property

Went out yesterday and bought me a dinghy. Decided its best to be prepared, as my old scouting slogan advised. And now I'm looking at cheap property up in the foothills, 'cuz things don't look too good down by the shore. Funny thing is, I don't think the price on inland properties will rise nearly as fast as the sea level - most folks are just too much in denial. Even so, I may try to by a few extra parcels, a little speculatin', if ya get my drift.

Another Damn Fereigner

I love Copenhagen - Little Mermaid, Hans Christian Andersen, water cannons, really big limos. Kinda makes me warm and fuzzy, if a little frustrated. I mean, all the good cheese is out of stock. Some of the people here just can't get their heads out of everyone else's asses. Its far too much fun to yell at people who are trying to move the ball forward, and not nearly as fun to protest and riot in Republicrat country, 'cuz folks tend to get their asses kicked harder therein. And yet...

You Rope 'Em, We Brand 'Em

I was planning on climbing Mt. Whatsahappnin next week, but my rope was stolen. It seems some real yahoo had an idea of ropin' hisself a whale.  I know what yer thinkin' - yer thinkin' I just sit around and make this s**t up, but not this time, no siree! Seems this dumb-ass whale went and intentionally wound itself up in my stolen rope, and then demanded taxpayer dollars to get free of his own mess. I think this "too big to fail" thing has gotten a mite out of control, if ya gets my drift. I plan on writin' my Congressy person to demand they force whales to buy their own rope, and foot their own bills. Its time the fish learned whose in charge of this planet!

Ohio Still Can't Get It Right - The Slow Approach Fails

Those bozitos up Ohio way once again fail to get the big picture. Oh, they started out with great promise, all that paving, and extra-wide freeways and waist lines, but then they go and do some real dumbass thing like this. I mean, how can you expect to get a handle on meaningful population control when you make it a virtue to do a one-up approach? First they go and do their damnedest to restrict abortion, and can't rise to the occasion to balance things out by working out a wholesale execution system. You'd think these losers LIKE to fail. I say we balance things out by arbitrarily turning off lights at blind intersections in a random pattern, perhaps based on the Fibonacci Theorem. Hell, you could institute State-wide gambling on top of it, and probably balance the State budget.

See? Ya gotta learn to think outside the big box malls.

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