Monday, December 7, 2009

I Can Dream,Can't I?

Last night I had a dream. Nothing unusual about that, I suppose. But some dreams seem so,  well, really real, dontcha think? Oh, I don't mean like, "hey look, I CAN fly," or other such silliness. No, I mean like the dream could be real, or wow, wouldn't it be wonderful if, and that sort of thing.

Anyhoo, as I was saying, I had this dream, that stupidity had been outlawed, making all stupid people outlaws (is that the opposite of in-law?) Now, the initial effect of this was not unlike those poor smokers, confined to wet, cold outdoor locations for the betterment of mankind and such. So the actual impact on those sad sacks was minimal, at least initially. What made things interesting was when several stoopids, as they came to be called, tried to start a demonstration to demand equal rights. Can you say "crackdown?" Overnight, there were "education centers," (no, not re-education centers, as it was reasoned there had been too little education in the first place, so this was a remedial solution, as it were) where the stoopids were sent, in sincere hopes they would somehow grow "out of it," as the parlance came to be.

Anyway. In this dream, I saw all these little Beck and O'Reilly clones being herded into an education center, where, besides being taught to read, they had to learn to stop screaming their little slogans, or, as most of the population called them, "rants." There were some initial failures, well, a couple of really atrocious ones, to be honest, but eventually, the centers had stoopids matriculating into actual people, who understood and abided by things like the Constitution, who showed appreciation for points of view other than their own, and sometimes (and this is really what surprised people the most,) apologized for their prior stupidity and asinine behaviors.

The benefits to society at large were  enormous. Congress, re-invigorated with intelligence and bi-partisan cooperation, passed more, and more effective, legislation in one year than Congress in the previous twenty years had managed to do. Corporations actually started to contribute to the Nation's well-being, not merely to their "bottom lines," a phrase that took on new meaning, especially in the world of haute couture, where fashion models suddenly learned the value to the brands they represented by smiling (admittedly, there were several cases that required plastic surgery to repair the damage.) Within a few short years, the practice spread to other nations, and by the year 2075, the U.N. became the de-facto arbiter of disputes between nations, which all nations agreed to abide by. That year, the U.S. elected the first Ph.D. to the Presidency. When President Natalie Rodriguez took her oath of office, she said,"I wouldn't be where I am today if it hadn't been for those stoopids who went before me, and allowed me the chance to rise from the poverty of  my grand-parent's time, to gain the education promised to every person in America."

Just as she was about to say something about world peace, I woke up. Yeah, I know. Just a dream. But, who knows - maybe one day, no one will want to be seen as stupid. Especially those who can't see how stupid they really are.

As you might suspect, I'm not holding my breathe. 'Cuz that would just be stoopid.

1 comment:

  1. It's the TVs, silly. TVs are stupidity machines. We make progress every time a TV gets thrown out the window.


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