Failure to Appear

Yeah, got me a jury summons yesterday. Can't say I didn't see it coming. I did vote, and I did get a drivers license, so with those two Constitutionally protected rights come pay-up time. Thing is, every time I "get the call," they simply won't let me sit on a jury! It may have something to do with my day job (which I can't mention here because if I did I'd have to kill me for letting the cats out of the bag - oops, I mean, the dog out of the, oh, forget it.) Anyway, whenever they ask that all-important question as to what one does for a living, well, both sides excuse me faster than a spam sandwich in Hawaii. Which brings me to today's topic - terrorist trials in Nueva York.

All the spooky scary silly arguments about why holding terrorists to answer for their crimes as near the scene of their crimes as possible has apparently set a great number of Far Wrongers to gnashing their teath parties and swizzling their schticks, with hyperbole like "this will make New York a terrorist target." MMMM, yeah. And, "this will just give them terrorists a propaganda platform," and other such insanity. Oh, and I love this one - "what if the jury acquits them, finds them innocent?" OK. Calm down.I know, you want to give these bozitos a swift slap aside the skull, I understand the temptation. But get a grip, brothers and sisters! Remember that "hoisted on their own petards" thingy? (What exactly is a petard, anyway?)

First, since when has New York NOT been a target? Come on, all you Rush babies out there, surely you can't be that frightened of the very people you keep bragging about how YOU are gonna kick THEIR asses? Whasamattau? Grow some spine, dammit! New York has always been a target - look what Andy Warhol accomplished, for Cri-Yi. You afraid a coupla pissant terrorists gonna blow up the courthouse, as though THAT would make a better point about what we the People really think about them, the not-people?

And "propaganda platform? "Hellloooo! Can you say Internet? Can you say "suicide bomber blows up Hell" at Eleven? Really? They really NEED another platform? I think not. Another life? Sure, but platform? Unless they mean shoes, I'd say "nah!"

And don't you just LOVE the "jury might acquit them?" In freakin' New-effin-York? Man, do I have a bridge to sell you! There isn't a jury in the entire COUNTRY who would vote for acquittal, even if these guys were only charged with selling souvenir photos of Abu Graib. Oh, but then some of you want it both ways, don't you? You fear an "acquittal," by an American jury, but then get all "ooohhh" patriotic and civil liberties with, "oh, so you mean its all nudge, nudge, wink, wink, a show trial, is that what you mean?You mean the game is (horrors!) mock justice?" Oh get over yourself, you pathetic worms! You are Repugna-cants, dammit! You do show trials nearly every day!! And even then, claim mock horror when accused of it yourselves! So get off you low horse!

Lets call all this whining what it really is, shall we? It's really "we got our butts handed to us in the last election, and by a black man at that, so we are going to do and say everything we can to piss on your parade, and make everyone think its your piss." That about it? 'Cuz I think you Far Wrong losers, with all your harping about She-Rah Pail-In and CareyIdidn'tmakethosevideosyoujustwanttodestroymePrejean being your role models for remaking the Repugnant Party, have developed a "thing" about backing losers, while revealing your narcissistic need to make the entire Nation a loser until we play nice and give you back the country you think you have a right to "rule."   EEEEyyyyyyeeeeaaaaahhhhh,  no. Not gonna happen, certainly not that easy.

Its not only the right thing to do, to try these assholes in New York as criminals, it also the (here it comes, kiddys) the Constitutional thing to do. And when you good citizens of Nueva York get those jury summonses, here's a little suggestion. Line Up Early. Don't Be Late. Pretend its a pre-Thanksgiving sale at Macy's, and there is only one dress left in the high-end department at 50% off. You KNOW you wanna be the first one in the door. And you KNOW how to be a REAL NEW YORKER. And you KNOW, you REALLY KNOW, you ain't takin' NO for an answer.

Yes, your Honor, I have NO REASON to NOT serve on this jury. Yes, your Honor, whatever you say, your Honor. Fair and impartial? Whatever you say, your Honor. When do we start?

And sorry, Far Wrongers.You ain't gettin' picked for THIS jury. No cowards allowed. This is freakin' NEW-EFFIN-YORK, and we aim to DO JUSTICE!!!!