With the amazing news out of Wake Forest University today, Senator Joe Lieberman is said to have "jumped for joy." Jubilant at a hastily called press conference, Lieberman said, "So you see, I'm no longer consigned to being a dickless wonder." Pretty much both sides of the aisle, upon hearing this, broke into an extended coughing fit.
Lieberman's wife was heard saying in the background, "fat chance." And, "He wanted to be an Independent, so now he gets excited about rabbit penises. My mother was right about him, after all." Confronted over her statement later, she said, "Hell yes, I knew the mike was on. What kind of a putz do you take me for?"