Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Fat Drained From the Head of Bill O'Realy; Phish Tacos Blamed; She-Rah's Unexpectedly Newish Face Raises Alarms

Ya don't always get days as good as this one, when all the news manure seems to be especially odoriferous, yet utterly enervating at the same time. She-Rah Pail-In's aide returns Her Moose's dish; Repugnacants snubbed by Obama, who in turn blame the Prez for not being "bi-partisan;" (unlike the Retreads, whose bi- credentials are impeccable, especially in rest stop restrooms) consumer confidence up, FDIC down; Adam Lambert goes down for the count (ahem), but doesn't really go all the way; and so on, and so on. Oh, where to start?

How 'bout them fat suckers down in Peru? If they came up to the good old US of A, they could open clinics in every Amurican city, and put Jenny Craig out of business in a month. They might even be able to get some of that excess pork out of Washington, what say? And think of what they could do for the images of the Far Wrong punditry - Bill O'Really would finally fit into his suits and get rid of that too-obvious anal probe, Rash Limburger would be able to see his toes, for the first time in a generation, and Michelle O'Bach-Bach-Bachman would finally be rid of that terrible overhanging upper lip that causes her to sound like a broken chicken. Talk about a telegenic upgrade! But it would never work - the folks who brought this new technology to the market would be illegals here. But we COULD buy all the Punditocrats a one-way ticket to the Andes! Wouldn't that be generous of us?

What a way to show our thanks, in this season of taking!

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