Saturday, November 14, 2009

She-Rah Pail-Ihn Goes On Blind Date; Oh-Praaaahhh Makes Time For Moose and Squirrel

Where the F**K is my coffee?

She-Rah Pail-Ihn was seen recently walking down Fifth Avenue arm-in-arm with that charismatic stud, Boris Badenough, pictured above after a long, exhausting photo shoot for Rice Krispies Chocolate Snorts, due to hit the markets right after Thanksgiving. She-Rah, sporting new cat's eyes contacts and wearing bright red f**k-me pumps with ten inch heels, set the street ablaze with rumor and innuendo, most of which has turned out to be ambiguously unclear. Meanwhile, Oh-Praaaahhh released a press release designed to release the news hounds, to the effect that she was ready to "release the hounds of war" in an effort to get She-Rah to appear with her bookclub and book shield. "Whatever it takes," Oh-Praaahh stated, "Even if I have to grovel at She-Rah's feet and renounce every liberal act I've ever engaged in. She's mine," she hissed, just before her handlers hosed her down and put the restraints back on.

In other news, Margaret Thatcher gave birth to quintuplets yesterday, all of whom have declared a new war on the Falkland Island, just for spite.

More news at 11.

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