Monday, October 26, 2009

If Moses Could Do It, So Can I!

Seems there's a new rumor going around that, contrary to all scientific evidence, the 'ol planet is actually cooling, NOT warming. This is good to know, for several reasons I shall now elucidate. (Don't let the big words scare ya, Bobby. Mommy will make the unbeliever go away.) "Global warming skeptics base their claims on an unusually hot year in 1998. Since then, they say, temperatures have dropped — thus, a cooling trend. But it is not that simple." ""Should not the actual temperature be higher now than it was in 1998?" Easterbrook asked. "We can play the numbers games."
That's the problem, some of the statisticians said.

Grego produced three charts to show how choosing a starting date can alter perceptions. Using the skeptics' satellite data beginning in 1998, there is a "mild downward trend," he said. But doing that is "deceptive."

Conflicting data analyses

The trend disappears if the analysis is begun in 1997. And it trends upward if you begin in 1999, he said."

Oooohhhhhh. So, by moving the starting line, you bet against the turtle, right? I am so off to Reno!!!

Lets be stark and tony, shall we? The pantheon of pseudo-science is full of snake-oil salesmen, followed by a lemming-like following of rubes who can't wait to be the next mark. And have I gotta bridge for you!! Its from a secret guvmint laboratory that has been hording secret guvmint laboratories to prevent us real folk from gittin' our hands on all the secret stuff inside that will make us rich and be-utiful! Let's go hang the rat bastards!

So, OK. You don't want to "believe in" global climate change? All right, fine by me. Ya wanna know why? Sure you do. Come on, admit it - you like slipping in your own spittle, tell the truth.

All you folks who "believe in" some deity, but don't "believe in" fact-based evidence that the oceans are gonna rise - I urge you to, right now, put down that remote and go out right now and buy as much ocean shoreline as you can, cuz its gettin' plenty affordable. Get in early, ya'll will make a killing!

Actually, you DO know how to reverse global warming cheaply, don't you? After all, its really about the money for you, right? Right? So here's all you have to do. Go spend more time on the beach! Sounds like fun, plus its easy!

Population reduction IS the fastest and cheapest way to save the planet for the grand-kids, and have a nice warm, tingly feeling as you go down for the third time. Feels nice to do something special for the entire species, doesn't it?

Just remember - just because you believe in, or don't believe in something, doesn't mean you are right. Usually means you are only dead right.

Save the whales!

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If its not rational, well-crafted, on point, and civil, fugedaboudit. I will delete all comments that abuse, are obscene, or refer excessively to how right you are.Otherwise, have at it.